The bad news, Andrea, is that your car is probably worth between $8000 and $11,000 and maybe even less as a trade-in. Certainly that figure will be less if you don’t fix the engine problem, so that’s your starting point for working out the mathematics of your situation.

The one thing you haven’t told me is whether the car is a V8 or a six-cylinder car. If it’s a V8, I reckon you’d be spot on the money with a lifter, rocker or valve-spring problem as these engines were notorious for these components wearing out in roughly the mileage you’ve noted (sometimes less). The good news is that it’s not a terribly involved or costly (relatively) fix.

If, however, the car is a V6, then you might be in a bit deeper. These engines were even more notorious for stretching their timing chains and that can lead to all sorts of engine noises as well as a check-engine light illuminating on the dashboard. This is a bigger, more expensive fix, too, and since a V6 Calais will be worth less in the first place, it might be better to simply replace the whole engine. There’s also the very strong possibility that the cost of repairs will simply not stack up against the value of the car.

I believe you're locked into getting the dealer to do the update when you buy a factory-fitted system and I'm not aware of a way around that problem. Your experience is well worth noting for others who might be taking delivery of a new car. It's a good idea to check the maps that come with the car, as they are often well out of date, and demand they be updated before you drive away in the car. While the car is at the dealer's you have some negotiating power, once you drive away it's much harder.

It's a little higher than I would expect, but roof racks and bikes carriers would have an adverse effect of the fuel consumption, and it would be even more affected by carrying bikes.