Drive to work day

Sunday is designed for sleeping in, waking to a humungous fry-up breakfast, turning on the reticulation for the garden and planning a drive with a lunch stop.

Which I did. Except that on that day, some charity closed off the freeway so that 7000-odd bicyclists could pedal down the four-lanes and give money to sick people.

One month before there was a similar event that saw almost 10,000 people walk a 10km route around the river.

It was full of bicycles, roller blades, prams, wheelchairs and dogs and completely clogged up a perfectly good family day by the water.

Earlier on the year there was a walk-to-work day. Give us a break. I live 17km away.

All the people who involve themselves in these activities feel sickeningly happy that they've done something to better the world.

Sure, it also got them out of the house for a day and in many cases, let's just be happy that the world sees these people for only ONE day.

The smug one-day-a-year cyclists command the freeway for about six hours and rejoice in the fact they've saved 120 grams of CO2.

They show it's possible to make a lot of motorists unhappy while peeling off five grams of fat while pedalling to a McDonalds store 30km away and giving $25 to save sick kids.

At least, all this is the impression I get from whinging motorists.

These same whinging motorists are the ones who intensely dislike cyclists on the roads AT ANY TIME.

They don't like pedestrians because they can press a button and make them stop at a traffic-lit intersection.

So, I am declaring that I will support a drive-to-work day.

That's right: Everyone will drive to work. No cycling, no walking, no buses, no scooters, no taxis and no trains. Just jump in your car and bugger the lycra-clad oxygen thieves because the car is king.

Because roads are made for cars. Not bicycles. Because car parks are there for cars and should be used as such.

Wouldn't you be a happy lot then. It will show solidarity. The car wins over the bicycle. There could even be a charity to donate to.

Just imagine that? A city with the population of four million and a car ownership of two million. At, say, $5 a car, you'd make some sick kid happy to the tune of $10 million.

So let's declare April 1, 2009 as Drive-to-Work Day. Each car on the road donates $5.

And while your in the world's biggest traffic jam since Karl Benz self-propelled himself out of his driveway, just take a few seconds to reflect on a commuting life alongside bicyclists, scooters and pedestrians.