Browse over 9,000 car reviews

Born of the undead

Let's face it, Saabs were never all that, they had their "quirks" as unvaryingly were described the oddly placed ignition key.

I may have mentioned a recurring nightmare in which my second car -- gone these many decades after it tried once too often to kill me -- rematerialises.

With the dry-mouthed unblinking anxiety that your sub-conscience is wanting to inflict on you, I'm stuck with this crapper as it rusts around me, understeers off sheer drops and generally sucks like an Australian-made car of the 1970s.

It's very much like one of these zombie/undead/exploitation schlockers that comprise every second flick released -- except a 1971 Kingswood is far more horrifying than a brain snacking denizen of the undead. Apropos of which, Saab re-appeared in the news this week.

The undead and unburied brand may yet be revived in a deal between that unlikely car maker Spyker and Chinese tractor maker Youngman. Possibly only Ernest Hemmingway, who was reported to have been killed twice before he ate the definitive buckshot, had as many obituaries.

His death was mourned throughout the world. As for Saab -- really, who cares? While it's not beyond the realms of possibility that a Sino-Swedish prestige marquee of distinction might emerge from this Eurasian union (Lamborghini started out making tractors too), would this be a good thing?

Let's face it, Saabs were never all that. They had their "quirks" as unvaryingly were described the oddly placed ignition key, turbos that took days to react and convertible roofs that required building permission to erect.

If ever there was definition of “different don't mean better” it was the wares of Trollhatten. Even with the last and I suppose "current" 9-5 there was no sense of this “alternative to the Germans” (as Wheels tend to say) refuting that maxim. The dead ought to have the decency to stay that way.