Alfa Romeo Giulia vs Tesla Model S

What's the difference?

Alfa Romeo. A brand with more re-boots than success stories. Yet one which driving enthusiasts the world over can’t seem to shake the allure of.

Of course, these are not cars for just everyone. Most mainstream buyers are scared away by what I like to call the three Rs. Rust. Reliability. Resale.

Alfa’s tumultuous (and often overstated) past is one it has trouble putting behind it. Reputations are hard earned and easily lost, and besides, the majority of the voting public aspire to own something German, which they see a lot more of on the road.

It doesn’t help that Alfa also dragged its feet on committing to a five-year warranty in Australia (in early 2022), hardly a statement of confidence in its product.

You’re probably wondering by now why anyone would buy one, and why it’s the car which most enthusiasts wish they were brave enough to own.

Well the Giulia is the Alfa Romeo. The low-slung, sporty, sexy car which a few of us out there still use as a reference-point for how to make a sedan in 2023 good-looking, and how to make one drive like it has heart.

The brand can throw all the SUVs at us it wants, but for those who see Alfa Romeo for the brand it should be, this car is it.

Parting sorrow, perhaps, the version we’re looking at for this review may be one of the last - under its new Stellantis management, Alfa has said it will leave this fantastic, promising Giorgio platform behind it in a move to be more electrified.

Travel with me, dear reader, as we celebrate a car which is the culmination of Alfa’s past, at a moment before it steps into the future.

If you have even a passing interest in the Tesla Model S, you'll have seen the endless internet videos where someone has lined up a Ferrari, Lamborghini, or another fast exotic car you could name, to race against it.

There's a long build-up, usually involving men who can't operate a baseball cap, a drag strip and idiotic words in the headline like "destroys" or "rips", or whatever. There's usually a bunch of honking bros with bad haircuts watching on, already planning their next viral video where they set a perfectly good mobile phone on fire.

It's facile and idiotic and doesn't give you any real clue as to the depth of whatever supercar it has "humiliated" or, just as importantly, the depth of the Model S and its spectacular engineering.

So, I won't be spending the next thousand words building up to the conclusion that the Model S P100D with Ludicrous Mode is up there with the world's fastest production cars from 0-100km/h, because I'll tell you now that it is, and it does it in a claimed 2.7 seconds.

Now that's out of the way, there's quite a bit more to the Model S than a "broken" Nissan GT-R owner weeping into their bento box.