Rolls-Royce Cullinan vs BMW X4

What's the difference?

The truly great thing about great wealth - I mean like, drop $1 million on a new Rolls-Royce with a casual yawn and a mouse click wealth - would be how great it is not having to do anything for yourself.

Personally, I would hire a chef, so I’d never have to cook again, and a pilot to fly my private jet, so I’d never have to catch pneumonia while flying 34 hours to Ibiza with strangers to do my weird job (oh, and if I was rich I wouldn’t have to work anyway), and in theory I might even hire a chauffeur for those odd times when I didn’t want to drive myself in one of my fleet of beautiful cars. 

All right, so I can’t even imagine that last one, but the most interesting fact I gleaned while in Spain, tirelessly testing the new Rolls-Royce Cullinan Series II, is that even the ridiculously rich are falling out of love with not driving these days.

Perhaps, being tech-savvy types, they can see the end of driving and the rise of autonomy coming and they want to make the most of it while they still can. But according to Rolls, the percentage of its buyers who sit in the back rather than in the driver’s seat has flipped entirely over the past 15 years.

Back in the day, 80 per cent of Rolls owners were back-seat passengers, blowing cigar smoke at the back of a chauffeur’s head, while 20 per cent actually drove their expensive motors.

Today, the number who drive themselves has soared to 80 per cent, and apparently that’s not just because it would feel weird being chauffeured around in what is now the most popular Rolls-Royce by far - the Cullinan SUV.

The other big change, apparently, is that the average age of a Rolls-Royce buyer has also dropped, from 56 to the low 40s. And that means more buyers with kids, and gold-plated prams and other associated dross, which means they need bigger Rolls-Royces, family-sized SUV ones, which again helps to explain why the Cullinan now makes up as much as half of all the brand’s sales in some markets.

And why the arrival of this, the facelifted, tweaked and twirled Series II version of a car that was greeted cynically by many in the media when it arrived (“one group was not sceptical, and that was our clients,” as a Rolls spokeswoman delightedly pointed out) is such a big deal.

Look, personally I found it amusingly weird when German car companies started sloping the roofs on sedans and calling them “coupes”, despite the fact that they had four doors. Their ability to imagine segments, and find buyers in them, that have no reason to exist is almost something to admire.

But turning SUVs, like the already very capable X3, into coupes? Frankly, it’s like turning an ass into an elbow. Lower the roof to reduce headroom and shrink the boot? Why? Because it will look so sexy people won’t be able to resist it. That’s BMW’s approach with the X4 and, somehow, it seems to work.

And, to be fair, sporty SUVs are not a BMW thing: the Range Rover Evoque, Audi Q5 Sportback, and Mercedes-AMG’s range of GLC Coupé models have all taken off, each contributing toward an unlikely trend that doesn’t seem to be going away any time soon.