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BMW Alpina B7 vs Tesla Model S

What's the difference?

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BMW Alpina B7
BMW Alpina B7

2018 price

Tesla Model S
Tesla Model S

$48,950 - $65,981

2017 price

Summary

2018 BMW Alpina B7
2017 Tesla Model S
Safety Rating

Engine Type
Twin Turbo V8, 4.4L

0.0L
Fuel Type
Premium Unleaded Petrol

Electric
Fuel Efficiency
9.6L/100km (combined)

0.0L/100km (combined)
Seating
5

5
Dislikes
  • Exhaust note could be tougher sounding
  • Extra care needed to pilot through car parks and alley ways
  • Australia's speed limits

  • Sadly, it's not a sports car
  • It's a lot of money
  • Lack of convenient charging
2018 BMW Alpina B7 Summary

You know when you're walking along the footpath and you come to a soft spongey bit that the council have put in around a tree and your mind goes: "Whoah, the ground is bouncy but it looks just like bitumen?!"

Well that's the kind of response you'll get from people when they think they're looking at a regular BMW 7 Series, only to have their world go a bit bouncy when they see the Alpina B7 badge on the back of this car as you're overtaking them at Warp Factor 9000.

And you will be overtaking them like a blur because, thanks to the elves at German tuning house Alpina, the B7 is hugely fast for a five-seat, 5.3m-long, 2.2 tonne limo. But then the B7 is fast for any type of car of any dimensions, because with its 330km/h top speed this beast will outrun a McLaren 570GT. Yes, seriously.

Based on the BMW 750Li long wheelbase, the B7 begins life rolling down the same production line as a regular 7 Series. Alpina then goes on to make so many changes to the engine and chassis that the German government requires the BMW VIN to be replaced with a new one.

Ready to find out more? Well there's so much to see here that things may go a bit weird and bouncy again. Be prepared.

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2017 Tesla Model S Summary

If you have even a passing interest in the Tesla Model S, you'll have seen the endless internet videos where someone has lined up a Ferrari, Lamborghini, or another fast exotic car you could name, to race against it.

There's a long build-up, usually involving men who can't operate a baseball cap, a drag strip and idiotic words in the headline like "destroys" or "rips", or whatever. There's usually a bunch of honking bros with bad haircuts watching on, already planning their next viral video where they set a perfectly good mobile phone on fire.

It's facile and idiotic and doesn't give you any real clue as to the depth of whatever supercar it has "humiliated" or, just as importantly, the depth of the Model S and its spectacular engineering.

So, I won't be spending the next thousand words building up to the conclusion that the Model S P100D with Ludicrous Mode is up there with the world's fastest production cars from 0-100km/h, because I'll tell you now that it is, and it does it in a claimed 2.7 seconds.

Now that's out of the way, there's quite a bit more to the Model S than a "broken" Nissan GT-R owner weeping into their bento box.

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Deep dive comparison

2018 BMW Alpina B7 2017 Tesla Model S

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