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What's the difference?
You know when you're walking along the footpath and you come to a soft spongey bit that the council have put in around a tree and your mind goes: "Whoah, the ground is bouncy but it looks just like bitumen?!"
Well that's the kind of response you'll get from people when they think they're looking at a regular BMW 7 Series, only to have their world go a bit bouncy when they see the Alpina B7 badge on the back of this car as you're overtaking them at Warp Factor 9000.
And you will be overtaking them like a blur because, thanks to the elves at German tuning house Alpina, the B7 is hugely fast for a five-seat, 5.3m-long, 2.2 tonne limo. But then the B7 is fast for any type of car of any dimensions, because with its 330km/h top speed this beast will outrun a McLaren 570GT. Yes, seriously.
Based on the BMW 750Li long wheelbase, the B7 begins life rolling down the same production line as a regular 7 Series. Alpina then goes on to make so many changes to the engine and chassis that the German government requires the BMW VIN to be replaced with a new one.
Ready to find out more? Well there's so much to see here that things may go a bit weird and bouncy again. Be prepared.
Mercedes-Benz loves to fill a niche. This is the company, after all, that has a coupe version of its GLC and GLE SUVS, four-door coupes ranging in size from the CLA to the AMG GT 4-door, and enough electric vehicles to make Tesla jealous.
The nichest of all though, might the CLS, which has been updated for the 2022 model year.
Positioned above the E-Class but below the S-Class in the line-up as a sporty sedan for customers after a blend of style, technology and performance, the new CLS is available in just one engine now, while styling and equipment have also been tweaked in the update.
Can the CLS earn its place in the Mercedes line-up or is it destined to be a bit player amongst more popular models?
The BMW Alpina B7 is a special car destined (like all Alpinas) to be a collector's item, due to its rarity and exclusivity. I asked Alpina just how many current model B7s there are in Australia and the answer was "less than five", which is just as mysterious as most people find the car in general.
The B7 is fast – too fast to enjoy legally on Australian roads – but it is also supremely comfortable and well appointed. For Alpina fans lucky enough to be driven in on,e this would make for a truly rare and niche way to be chauffeured.
Comfortable when it needs to be and sporty when you want it to be, the CLS 53 is a bit like Mercedes’ Doctor Jekyll and Mr Hyde – or maybe Bruce Banner and the Hulk is a better frame of reference for some.
While it doesn’t excel in any one particular area, its breadth of useability is commendable, but ultimately it might be its all-too-familiar aesthetics that is the biggest letdown.
From the inside, it looks and feels like any other large Mercedes model (not necessarily a criticism), while the exterior – in my opinion – doesn’t go far enough to differentiate it from the CLA.
After all, if you wanted a stylish and sporty sedan, shouldn’t feel special too?
This is a good place to start because the B7 looks just like the 750Li it's based on, until you see the first tell-tale signs that it's not one.
There's the front wing with Alpina lettering and the boot-top spoiler, the graphics, which run the length of the car, and the 20-spoke wheels with Alpina badging.
This is late '70s, early '80s styling at its best (and possibly worst), but these special cars can pull off the irony-free look because this is how Alpina BMWs have rolled since 1975, when the E21 320-based Alpina A1/3 was launched.
BMW badges have been left on the bonnet and boot, but there's Alpina B7 BiTurbo lettering in place of the 7 Series identifier.
Most people walked by it in the street thinking it was just a big BMW, others scratched their heads wondering what I'd done to my big German limo and a handful almost dropped to their knees in praise and wonderment at spotting a rare beast like this in the wild.
These people all had their own Alpina stories – one was the third generation of an Alpina-owning family. You become a member a small and passionate club when you buy into this rarefied brand.
The standard B7's cabin is close to identical to the luxurious interior of the 750Li, save for Alpina-embossed stitching in the headrests of the soft, leather seats, the virtual instrument cluster and the Alpina plaque on the centre console denoting the build number.
The B7 is long, low and wide at just under 5.3m end to end, 1.5m tall and 1.9m across. A 3.2m wheelbase means cabin room is more than just spacious.
The B7 rolls off the Dingolfing production line in Germany and is then handed over to Alpina's facility in Buckle, where significant changes take place. Read on to find out how the B7 is different from a regular 750Li.
Mercedes’ homogenised design is a bit of a double-edged sword, and while the CLS does wear its styling confidently, it probably looks a little too much like the cheaper and much smaller CLA for our tastes.
Both are swoopy four-door coupes from Mercedes-Benz, so of course there will be some similarities, but keen-eyed car spotters will notice some differences.
While the proportions are similar, the longer wheelbase and bonnet line gives the CLS a more mature look, and the extra details found in the head- and tail-lights, and front bumper stand it apart.
The changes to the 2022 version also brings in AMG’s 'Panamericana' front grille, which adds a bit of welcome aggression to the front end.
From the side, the steeply raked roof flows seamlessly into the rear, while the 20-inch wheels fill out the arches well.
All four doors are also frameless, which is always cool to see.
From the rear, quad-exhaust tips hint at the CLS’s sporty intentions, while a prominent rear diffuser and subtle boot lid spoiler also feature.
Inside, the biggest change to the CLS is now the inclusion of the MBUX multimedia system, which keeps it in line with the E-Class, C-Class and other Mercedes models.
AMG sports seats are also fitted, wrapped in Nappa leather and 'Dinamica' fabric upholstery for all pews.
Our test car also came fitted with red contrast stitching and seat belts, adding a racy streak to the CLS cabin.
Have to point out the new steering wheel that comes with the 2022 CLS, though, which mirrors the tiller offered in the new E-Class, and is a step back in terms of functionality.
It looks premium enough thanks to its chunky leather-wrapped rim and gloss black dual-spoke design, but using the buttons, especially when on the move, is difficult and unergonomic.
This design is definitely function over form, and might need a few more revisions to get it right.
Overall, we’d say the CLS is a good-looking car, but does play it a bit too safe with its styling?
The B7 is a five-seater limousine although with the fold-down rear centre armrest which houses the media control panel the back is really set up to carry two.
That 3.2m wheelbase means cabin space is enormous. At 191cm tall I can sit behind my driving position with about 30cm between my knees and the seatback. Those rear doors open wide and the entrance is huge, making entry and exit almost as easy as just walking through a doorway. The air suspension also rises and lowers the B7's ride height for better access.
Storage is excellent, with two cupholders and door pockets for rear passengers, along with the area inside the centre armrest.
Up front, the driver and co-pilot have a deep centre console storage bin with split-opening lid, two cupholders and door pockets.
Luggage space is good, with a 515-litre boot.
Measuring 4994mm long, 1896mm wide, 1425mm tall and with a 2939mm wheelbase, the CLS slots neatly between the E-Class and S-Class in size and positioning.
Up front, occupants are afforded ample room for head, legs and shoulders, while the electronically adjustable seats make it easy to find a comfortable position.
The steering wheel also features a telescoping function – an always appreciated feature – and the expansive glasshouse makes things feel open and airy.
Storage options include a deep door pocket, a cubby found under the armrest, two cupholders and a smartphone tray with wireless charging capabilities.
It’s a different story in the second row, though, as the sloping roofline does noticeably eat away at headroom.
Don’t get me wrong, a six-foot-tall (183cm) adult can still slide in there fine, but the roof is dangerously close to the touching the top of the head.
Leg- and shoulder-room is pretty good in the outboard seats though, while the middle position is compromised by the intrusive transmission tunnel.
In the second row, passengers have access to a bottle holder in the door, a fold-down armrest with cupholders, backseat map pockets and two air vents.
Opening the boot reveals a cavity offering 490 litres of volume, with an aperture wide enough to fit golf clubs or luggage for a weekend getaway for four adults.
The rear seats also fold in a 40/20/40 split fashion, but Mercedes-Benz is yet to detail how much volume is on offer with the rear seats down. And as a traditional sedan, the CLS is less practical than the liftback Audi S7.
The B7 lists for $389,955, while a 750li is about $319,000. At this level, $70K seems like a downright reasonable premium to pay for a faster, more powerful, better handling and comfier version of the 750Li.
In this case you're paying more but getting more, although standard features are close to identical. There's adaptive LED headlights, head-up display, night vision with pedestrian detection, a 10.25-inch touch screen up front and two screens in the second row for TV and other media functions.
There's a reversing camera, sat nav, harman/kardon surround stereo and Apple CarPlay. There's leather upholstery, seat massagers in the front and rear, four-zone climate control, heated and ventilated front and rear seats, front and rear parking sensors, auto tailgate, sunblinds for the rear and rear-side windows and proximity key.
The safety features are listed in the section below, and that list is also impressive.
Rivals to the B7 include the Mercedes-AMG S63, which lists for $375,000, the $331,700 Audi S8 and even the Bentley Flying Spur, which almost matches its price at $389,500.
When the third-generation Mercedes-Benz CLS-Class hit Australian showrooms in 2018, it was available in three flavours, but the 2022 refresh has trimmed the line-up to just one – the top-spec AMG-tuned CLS 53.
The discontinuation of the entry-level CLS350 and mid-tier CLS450 means the CLS-Class now kicks off at $188,977, before on-road costs, which makes it more expensive than rivals like the Audi S7 ($162,500) and Maserati Ghibli S GranSport ($175,000).
With BMW ditching the 6 Series, the Bavarian brand doesn’t offer a direct rival to the Mercedes-AMG CLS 53, but its bigger 8 Series is offered in a Gran Coupe body style that starts at $179,900.
So, what does Mercedes include in the CLS’s asking price?
Standard equipment includes interior ambient lighting, a head-up display, 12.3-inch digital instrument cluster, power-adjustable and heated front seats, woodgrain interior trim, powered boot lid, rear privacy glass, push-button start, keyless entry, and a sunroof.
As an AMG model, the 2022 CLS is also fitted with a unique steering wheel, sports seats, illuminated door sills, drive mode selector, 20-inch wheels, a performance exhaust, boot lid spoiler and blacked-out exterior package.
Handling multimedia duties is a 12.3-inch 'MBUX' (Mercedes-Benz User Experience) touchscreen, with functions including Apple CarPlay/Android Auto connectivity, digital radio, a wireless charger, satellite navigation and a 13-speaker Burmester sound system.
It’s a long and fully-featured equipment list, for sure, and it’s so extensive that there aren’t really any options available.
Buyers can opt for an 'AMG Exterior Carbon Fibre Package', power-closing doors, and different finishes for the exterior paint, interior trim and seat upholstery – that’s it!
While its nice that everything you’d want comes included in the asking price, it’s hard to ignore the fact that its Audi S7 rival is more than $20,000 cheaper, but also well equipped.
Alpina takes the 4.4-litre twin turbo V8 from the BMW 750Li and rebuilds the engine by hand. Alpina fits its own turbochargers, air-intake set -up, high-capacity cooling system and Akrapovic quad exhaust. Output is 447kW and 800Nm – an increase of a whopping 117kW and 150Nm over the 750Li's grunt.
It's interesting to note that the V12-powered 760Li has a smidge more power, at 448kW, and the same torque output as the B7.
How fast is the B7? Supercar fast – the B7 has a top speed of 330km/h, which will see it outrun a McLaren 570 and almost keep up with a Ferrari F12. That's quite incredible for a 2.3-tonne limousine with three TVs on board. A 0-100km/h time of 4.2 seconds is also hugely impressive.
In comparison, a 750Li has a 0-100km/h time of a not-too-shabby 4.7 seconds, but the car is electronically limited to 250km/h.
An eight-speed automatic transmission shifts gears smoothly, although a little slowly in Normal mode, while Sport and Sport+ add urgency and harder shifts.
Finally, the B7 is all-wheel drive, and those rear wheels are designed to steer slightly for better cornering performance.
Powering the Mercedes-AMG CLS 53 is a 3.0-litre turbocharged inline six-cylinder engine, punching out 320kW/520Nm to all four wheels via a nine-speed automatic transmission and Merc's '4Matic+' AWD system.
A 48-volt mild-hybrid system, known as 'EQ Boost', is also fitted that serves up to 16kW/250Nm from take-off.
The result is a 0-100km/h acceleration time of 4.5 seconds, keeping it on pace with the likes of the 331kW/600Nm Audi S7 (4.6s) and 390kW/750Nm 250kW/500Nm BMW 840i Gran Coupe (5.2s).
While not as brutish as AMG’s eight-cylinder engine, the straight six strikes a great balance between pace and poise that perfectly suits a model like the CLS 53.
The B7 is probably not the car to own if you're concerned about either fuel prices or emissions, but then the twin-turbo V8 may not be as thirsty as you'd think, with Alpina stating that, after a combination of urban and open-road driving, you should only use 9.6L/100km.
My time in the B7 saw me double that usage but this could have had something to do with me turning off the stop-start system and driving in Sport mode constantly.
Official fuel consumption numbers for the CLS 53 are pegged at 9.2 litres per 100km, while we managed an average of 12.0L/100km in our launch drive.
All of our driving was relegated to country back roads and high-trafficked urban areas however, with no consistent freeway driving.
We’ll reserve judgement on how accurate the fuel economy figures are until after we’ve had the car for longer, but the EQ Boost system is designed to help keep consumption down by being able to coast the engine in particular situations.
Who on Earth thinks a BMW 750Li isn't fast enough or comfortable enough, even with all its horsepower, luxurious cabin and technology? Alpina, that's who.
Redevelopment of the 4.4-litre V8 with new turbochargers, a high-capacity cooling system, different air suspension set-up and an exhaust system made by Akrapovic have made this already exceptional car better. Better to drive and better to be driven in.
The ride, even on those 21-inch wheels and low-profile Michelin Pilot Super Sport tyres (255/35 ZR21 on the front and 295/30 ZR 21 on the rear) is incredibly comfortable. I drove it and also had a chance to recline in the back and be chauffeured (by our photographer) and the ride was so composed and refined it was hard to believe I was travelling along some truly awful urban roads with their cracked and pot-holed surfaces.
And it's quiet, too. Which will suit those in the back being transported swiftly from the airport to their next meeting, but if you're after a loud and angry exhaust note then you won't find it in the B7. Sure, from the outside at full throttle the B7 has a menacing growl, but this isn't a BMW M car that will bark and snarl.
See, while BMW's M division makes brutal, loud, high-performance versions of their regular cars, Alpina makes comfortable, stealthy, high-performance ones.
All-wheel drive provides fantastic traction and ensures that grunt doesn't just tear the tyres off those rims when you sneeze on the throttle.
And while the air-suspension is soft and comfortable, adaptive dampers adjust for when the road goes twisty, providing impressive handling for a heavy and long car.
Really, though, the B7 is built for long, endless stretches of roads, and the acceleration beyond 100km/h is almost as startling as that from 0-100km/h, as it wants to push straight past 200km/h towards that 330km/h top speed.
Which, unless you know a good lawyer or happen to be one, will send you straight to jail. Yes, the B7 is probably too much car for Australian roads. Only on a German autobahn would a B7 be fully at home.
I felt like I was given a Melbourne Cup-winning racehorse for a week but could only ride it in my suburban backyard.
There are certain expectations on a vehicle when it wears a Mercedes badge, namely it should be comfortable to drive while also dripping with the latest tech. And here the large four-door coupe delivers in spades.
Driving the car is smooth, easy and comfortable when in its default drive setting, you can really sink into the CLS and just eat up the miles in comfort.
There are small niggles, like the 20-inch wheels and low-profile tyres (245/35 front and 275/30 rear) throw up a bit too much road noise into the cabin, but for the most part, around town, the CLS is serene, supple and supremely soothing.
However, switch it over to Sport or Sport+ and the steering gets a bit heavier, the throttle response a bit sharper, and the suspension a bit stiffer.
Does it transform the CLS into a sports car? Not quite, but it certainly dials up driving engagement to a level where you can really have some fun.
Though this isn’t a full-fat AMG in the same vein as an E63 S and doesn’t feature the ubiquitous 4.0-litre twin-turbo V8, the CLS 53’s 3.0-litre six-cylinder engine is still plenty potent.
Coming away off the line feels particularly brisk, likely due to the EQ Boost system adding a bit of poke, and even flat-footing it mid-corner delivers a noticeable surge of urgency from the creamy straight six.
However, the best of the CLS 53 experience, in my opinion, is actually the sound, with the exhaust letting off the right sort of pops and crackles in Sport+ mode on overrun.
It’s rude and obnoxious, but also completely surprising coming from the motoring equivalent of a three-piece dress suit – and I love it!
The brakes are also up to task for scrubbing speed, but our relatively brief time with the car was in extremely wet conditions, so the 4Matic+ AWD system was hugely appreciated.
The Alpina B7 comes with all of the BMW 750Li's safety equipment – this includes AEB, lane-keeping assistance and lane-departure warning, blind-spot warning, active cruise control, night vision with object recognition, auto parking and surround view camera.
Along with the suite of airbags, there's traction and stability control and ABS, as you'd expect.
The 750Li and B7 have not been given an ANCAP score.
The Mercedes-Benz CLS is yet to be tested by ANCAP or Euro NCAP, which means there is no official crash-test rating that applies to local market vehicles.
However, the standard safety equipment list is extensive, and covers autonomous emergency braking (AEB), nine airbags, rear cross-traffic alert, blind-spot monitoring, tyre pressure monitoring, a surround-view camera, route-based speed recognition and lane-change assist.
The rear seats also feature two ISOFIX mounting points for child seats.
The B7 is covered by BMW's three-year, unlimited-kilometre warranty. Servicing is recommended every 12 months or 15,000km. The B7 is covered by BMW special vehicles servicing plan, which means services are cost-free for the first three years of the car's life.
Like all new Mercedes-Benz models sold in 2021, the CLS 53 comes with a five-year/unlimited kilometre warranty with roadside assist over that period.
This outclasses the assurance period offered by BMW, Porsche and Audi (three-year/unlimited kilometre), and matches that available from Jaguar, Genesis and Lexus, who recently upgraded their offering.
Scheduled service intervals are every 12 months or 25,000km, whichever occurs first.
The first three planned services will set buyers back $3150, broken down as $700, $1100 and $1350 apiece.