BMW Alpina B4 vs Mercedes-Benz E53

What's the difference?

You could almost call the B4 S the anti-M4. It's still fast and practical but from a completely different perspective. It's much more a grand tourer than the M4 and even with the Akrapovic exhaust (usually a byword for joyous, anti-social racket), subtle.

For some, the price won't matter because the Alpina delivers what they want - M4-like straight line performance without the histrionics or the uncompromising chassis. And there's also a bit of that perverse exclusivity of the styling that you won't get anywhere else.

As it turns out, the automotive world really doesn’t need an E63 S Coupe, because the E53 Coupe really does give you all you’ll ever need.

Simply put, the E53 Coupe’s balance of performance and luxury is bang on, while an E63 S Coupe would arguably prioritise one too much over the other.

Indeed, if you’re interested in a ‘relatively affordable’ grand-tourer that can get up and go when required, you could do a lot worse than the E53 Coupe.

Alpina has always had a particular aesthetic that could uncharitably be termed as mid-'80s West German - all set square angles and body graphics. Think David Hasselhoff's Berlin Wall look. The company has never really deviated from adding squared-off body bits to the various BMWs it has rebadged under its long-running agreement.

For the B4S, Alpina adds the signature billion-spoke alloy wheels (only a slight exaggeration), a new front splitter complete with Alpina lettering, a weirdly proportioned boot lid lip spoiler and - not even joking - pinstripes. Like I said, mid-'80s West German. You can still recognise the sleek 4 Series Coupe but perhaps the worst of it is the super-sized, wonky-looking ALPINA B4S on the boot.

Inside is rather more restrained apart from the ill-fitting Alpina plaque under the climate control. Again, it's all 4 Series in here, with the lovely Merino leather liberally applied across the cabin. Less lovely is the wood on the door pulls and console but the door cards have an oddly appealing woven leather which looks and feels good.

Sadly the standard 4 Series steering wheel is along for the ride. There's nothing wrong with it - although the Alpina logo does look out of place - but if I were a product planner, I'd beg for the lovelier M wheel.

The E53 Coupe already had an alluring exterior design, but in facelifted form, it looks even better.

The big changes are up front, where the E53 Coupe now has Mercedes-AMG’s signature Panamericana grille insert, with the multi-louvre aesthetic previously the reserve of its ‘63’ models.

In fact, the entire fascia has been redesigned, with the grille flipped upside down, while the Multibeam LED headlights are flatter and therefore angrier. Naturally, the bonnet and bumper have been tweaked to match, with the former featuring strong powerdomes.

Around the swoopy sides, a sporty set of black 20-inch alloy wheels is new, matching the window trim, while the only differences at the rear are the fresh graphics of the LED tail-lights.

Yep, the E53 Coupe still has a subtle bootlid spoiler and a prominent diffuser insert, which integrates the quad round tailpipes of its sports exhaust system.

Inside, the midlife facelift really makes itself known with its new flat-bottomed steering wheel with capacitive buttons and haptic feedback. This set-up is… fiddly, with presses often confused for swipes, so it's not exactly a step in the right direction.

And that’s particularly annoying because these controls are used for the carryover 12.3-inch touchscreen and 12.3-inch digital instrument cluster, which are now powered by Mercedes’ MBUX multimedia system, which bundles in Apple CarPlay and Android Auto support.

While now familiar, this set-up remains the benchmark in nearly all regards and is therefore a brilliant upgrade for the E53 Coupe, thanks to its speed and breadth of functionality and input methods, including always-on voice control and a touchpad.

Materials-wise, Nappa leather upholstery covers the seats and steering wheel as well as the armrests and door inserts, while Artico leatherette trims the upper dashboard and door shoulders.

Conversely, hard, shiny plastics adorn the lower door panels. Given that ‘cow hide’ and other soft-touch materials are used on most other surfaces, it’s unusual that Mercedes-AMG didn’t go the whole way.

Elsewhere, open-pore wood trim features prominently, while metallic accents brighten things up alongside the sporty stainless-steel pedals and smile-inducing ambient lighting.

If you're in the front, you're in luck - it's a comfortable place to be, with plenty of leg and headroom. Down back isn't terrible despite the coupe roofline. The two seats are nicely shaped for maximum comfort and separated by an odd plastic tray. The fold-down armrest has two cupholders.

Front seat passengers score a pair of cupholders (bring the total to four for the car) and the long doors will hold a bottle each.

The boot swallows a reasonable 445 litres, which isn't at all bad.

Measuring 4835mm long (with a 2873mm wheelbase), 1860mm wide and 1430mm tall, the E53 Coupe is a genuinely large car, which is great news for practicality.

The boot has a pleasing cargo capacity of 425L, but it can be increased to an undisclosed volume by stowing the 40/20/40 split-fold rear bench via the handy manual release latches.

It’s worth noting that while the aperture is wide, it’s not tall, which could be a problem for bulkier items alongside the tall load lip, although two tie-down points are on hand for securing loose items.

However, what really impresses is the amount of space inside. While the front sports seats are comfortable, the two rear passengers are in for the bigger treat, with room plentiful, mercifully ending the argument of who gets stuck in the uncomfortable second row.

Behind our 184cm driving position, there’s two inches of legroom as well as an inch of headroom, although toe-room is almost non-existent.

Being a four-seater, the E53 Coupe divides its rear occupants with a tray that contains two cupholders, while they also have access to two side cubbies and a small central cubby with two USB-C ports. This cubby is positioned between the air vents at the rear of the centre console.

And yes, even child seats can be fitted, with two ISOFIX and two top-tether anchorage points available should they be required. In fact, the long front doors make this task less challenging, although those big doors do become problematic in tight carparks.

All of that’s not to say occupants in the first row aren’t treated well, because they are, with the centre console’s cubby featuring two cupholders, a wireless smartphone charger, a USB-C port and a 12V power outlet.

Other storage options include the decently sized central bin, which contains another two USB-C ports, while the glovebox is also of a decent size, and then there’s the overhead sunglasses holder.

Priced from $164,800 plus on-road costs, the facelifted E53 Coupe is actually a staggering $14,465 more affordable than its predecessor.

But if you’re not a fan of its body-style, the $162,300 E53 sedan (-$11,135) and $173,400 E53 Cabriolet (-$14,835) are also available.

Either way, standard equipment not already mentioned includes metallic paintwork, dusk-sensing lights, rain-sensing wipers, power-folding side mirrors with heating, keyless entry, rear privacy glass and a power-operated bootlid.

Inside, push-button start, a panoramic sunroof, satellite navigation with live traffic, digital radio, a 590W Burmester surround-sound system with 13 speakers, an augmented reality (AR) head-up display, a power-adjustable steering column, power-adjustable front seats with heating, dual-zone climate control and an auto-dimming rearview-mirror feature.

Direct rivals for the E53 Coupe are non-existent, with the closest being the smaller – and therefore much more affordable – BMW M440i Coupe ($118,900) and Audi S5 Coupe ($106,500). Yep, it’s a unique offering on the market, this Merc.

A lot of your extra money turns up under the bonnet. These days the 440i packs BMW's slick B58 turbo straight six and the B4S does likewise. The boys from Buchloe in Bavaria (there are certain to be women there, too, I just liked the alliteration) added a pair of Alpina-spec turbos to generate a whopping 324kW and, more importantly, 660Nm. Alpina says 600Nm (the max torque figure of the brilliant M4 CS) is available from 2000-5000rpm, while the full 660Nm is available from 3000 to 4500rpm.

The M4 Pure has 317kW and 550Nm from the S55 straight-six. Just so you know.

Like the 440i but unlike the M4, the B4S employs the dependably brilliant eight-speed ZF automatic found throughout the BMW range.

The E53 Coupe is powered by a 3.0-litre inline six-cylinder petrol engine that produces a hearty 320kW of power at 6100rpm and 520Nm of torque from 1800-5800rpm.

The unit in question has one traditional turbocharger and an electric-powered compressor (EPC), which is available at engine speeds up to 3000rpm and can spool up to 70,000rpm in just 0.3 seconds for instantaneous punch.

But that’s not all, because the E53 Coupe also has a 48V mild-hybrid system called EQ Boost. As its name suggests, it has an integrated starter-generator (ISG) that can provide up to 16kW and 250Nm of temporary electric boost.

Mated to a nine-speed torque-converter automatic transmission with redesigned paddle-shifters, and Mercedes-AMG’s fully variable 4Matic+ all-wheel-drive system, the E53 Coupe sprints from a standstill to 100km/h in a handy 4.4 seconds.

Alpina quotes 7.9L/100km on the combined cycle and we went through the premium unleaded at the rate of 11.7L/100km. I enjoyed myself, so that's not a terrible result.

The E53 Coupe’s fuel consumption on the combined-cycle test (ADR 81/02) is 9.3L/100km, while its carbon dioxide (CO2) emissions are 211g/km.

Given the performance on offer, both claims are pretty good. And they’re made possible by the E53 Coupe’s 48V EQ Boost mild-hybrid system, which has coasting and extended idle-stop functionality.

That said, in our real-world testing, we averaged a more realistic 12.2L/100km over 146km of driving, although the launch test route only involved high-speed country roads, so expect a higher result in metropolitan areas.

For reference, the E53 Coupe has a 66L fuel tank, and it will only drink more expensive 98RON premium petrol.

One of the key differences between the B4 and M4 is the ride. While the M4 can crash over bumps and generally be a little hard to live with, the crew in Buchloe have gone after a much more plush ride. And in that they have succeeded because the B4 S is a mighty fine cruiser. Bumps are dismissed with a haughty disdain, even Sport + silliness doesn't completely write-off ride quality.

Very impressive too, is the steering. While still not at Lotus Elise levels of feel (few cars are), the Alpina tweaks connect the your palms to the road with more clarity than what you'll find in the 440i or M4. Where the M4 particularly adds too much weight, the 440i is a bit more circumspect in that regard.

And then we come to the engine. The B58 six is a belter, better even than the N55 that preceded it. It's still a 3.0-litre straight six but is part of BMW's modular engine family that starts with a 1.5-litre triple in the Mini and 1 Series. The Alpina-spec turbos are noisier, the Akrapovic exhaust lighter and also noisier. It doesn't have the all-out crackle and pop of an Audi or Merc (perish the thought), but when you're on it, the B4 means business. The 660Nm of torque, available over a wide rev range, delivers a steel fist wrapped in a velvet glove and bubble wrap - the speed builds rapidly but smoothly. 

The approach to the chassis tune seems to be based on the driving talents of mere mortals on normal roads, which is kind of like the 440i. It's terrific fun to drive hard but it's very forgiving and patient. The great thing about it is that you wouldn't think twice about jumping in it for the long haul, so comfortable and quiet is the cabin. The M4 will leave it for dead on a winding road, but that's perfectly fine.

One irritant is the replacement of the admittedly cheap BMW gearshift paddles with weirdly non-tactile buttons. They're not particularly easy to use and, probably worse for a sporty car, unsatisfying. It's an odd detail with which to go off the reservation. Cheeringly, the eight-speed ZF is its usual perfect self, so you don't have to worry too much about manual mode or go old school and use the shifter.

If an E53 Coupe was your daily driver, you’d be very happy, because its balance of comfort and performance is just about as good as it gets.

Stick the boot in and the engine responds with a level of enthusiasm that only electrification can provide. Not only does the ISG provide timely thrust, but the EPC helps the E53 Coupe reach its maximum torque, although it has to work harder for peak power.

That said, despite the addition of the EQ Boost system and the EPC, the E53 Coupe still feels like a proper Mercedes-AMG model, staying true to the high-performance mantra while offering a different approach.

Critically, all the drama is there, as it charges towards the horizon with intent as the transmission swaps gears smoothly, providing relatively quick shifts and revving on the down changes when required. It all adds up to a properly exciting drive.

However, it’s the E53 Coupe’s sports exhaust system that’s likely to command all the attention with its crackles, pops and overall booming soundtrack in the Sport mode. It can also be manually engaged in any mode by pressing a button in the centre console.

And given the E53 Coupe’s 4Matic+ system is fully variable, it offers plenty of grip when briskly accelerating and enjoying the soundtrack, but its rear end can still step out briefly when cornering hard.

Speaking of handling, the E53 Coupe goes around corners surprisingly well, defying its large dimensions and considerable 2021kg kerb weight by exhibiting strong body control.

Coming into bends, the E53 Coupe can also lean on its sports brakes, which pull up with absolute confidence.

And when you’re guiding the E53 Coupe through the twisty stuff, the electric power steering comes to the fore, with its speed-sensitivity and variable ratio.

The steering set-up is somewhat disappointing at times, however, with the feedback not quite up to the level of a proper performance car.

That said, it is quite direct and feels meaty in hand – two traits that are necessary for success – with this heft increased in the Sport drive mode. Comfort is where it’s at, though, if you ask me.

That said, the E53 Coupe’s suspension uses air springs and adaptive dampers to make it a comfortable cruiser.

Sure, this set-up’s tune does prove to be a little firm on lower-quality country roads, with most bumps and lumps felt by occupants, but on well-maintained highways and city roads, it’s got suitable levels of smoothness.

In keeping with this luxurious feel, the E53 Coupe’s Noise, Vibration and Harshness (NVH) levels are pretty damn good, with tyre roar and wind whistle easily missed while enjoying its aforementioned Burmester sound system.

ANCAP awarded the fifth-generation E-Class sedan and Estate its maximum five-star rating in 2016, although it doesn’t apply to the E53 Coupe, due to its differing body-style.

That said, advanced driver-assist systems still extend to autonomous emergency braking with pedestrian detection, lane-keep and steering assist (including emergency), adaptive cruise control with stop and go functionality, traffic-sign recognition, driver-attention alert, high-beam assist, active blind-spot monitoring and cross-traffic alert, tyre-pressure monitoring, park assist, surround-view cameras and front and rear parking sensors.

Other standard safety equipment includes nine airbags, anti-skid brakes and the usual electronic traction and stability-control systems.

Alpina offers a two-year/unlimited-kilometre warranty which is a bit behind the times and not in keeping with the price point. Servicing is another matter altogether and you're subject to your dealer's standard charges for servicing.

Like all Mercedes-AMG models, the E53 Coupe comes with a five-year/unlimited-kilometre warranty, which is currently the benchmark in the premium market. It also comes with five years of roadside assistance.

Better yet, the E53 Coupe’s service intervals are rather long, at every year or 25,000km – whichever comes first.

It’s also available with a five-year/125,000km capped-price-servicing plan, but it costs an expensive $5100 in total, or an average of $1020 per visit, with the E53 Coupe’s fifth trip charging $1700 alone. Ouch.