Citroen C4 Hatch 2005 review

Taking the Citroen for a spin through the curvy Stirling-Strathalbyn route was a delight, with leather steering wheel in hand guiding its passengers around each corner with ease.

It may be market research gone mad but the French car maker seems to have a good idea of its buying demographic, with music to put you in the mood and a car catering for every lazy driver's desire.

Forget to buckle up and the seat-belt alarm increases in volume until you obey. It bleeps again if a door is not closed properly or the handbrake is left on. If a tyre goes flat, it lets you know that, too.

Parking sensors allow even the worst parallel parkers to slide into a spot without any unnecessary paint-chipping bumps.

Cornering at night is easy on drivers' eyes as lights follow the road and look eerily like the eyes of a skinless Terminator cyborg.

Perhaps the Citroen C4 is a cyborg with a tendency for crankiness if you don't follow the rules.

But all is forgiven with this two-litre hatch which seats passenger and driver as well as short-legged rear passengers in comfort.

Clever interior features, apart from an irritating rear light, are abundant, with good storage compartments, centre armrest and individual airconditioning controls and an airconditioned glove box to keep beverages cool.

For those who get into whiz-bang features, there are cruise, stereo and trip computer controls on the steering wheel – so many that it's hard to find the horn.

Citroen's designers may have overlooked a couple of features to keep family car buyers away.

There seem to be no child-proof locks for the electric windows, which are within reach of a toddler in a car capsule, and the boot is only roomy enough for an umbrella stroller.

But who wants grubby hands messing up a fine interior? Citroen C4 is a DINK car and a stylish statement to other drivers.

"We live in a beautiful world, yeah we dooo ... "

Do I have to give it back now?