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The best Lada jokes

How do you double the value of a Lada? Fill the petrol tank.

At the end of this year the company ceases production of what is often called the world's worst car. The Lada "Classic" (or 2105 and 2107 Riva) was a joint venture between the Russians and the Italians. 

It was based on the Fiat 124 and made from inferior Russian steel that was prone to immediate rust. 

They were also likely to develop almost every mechanical fault you could think of and were considered dangerous at anything approaching highway speeds. 

Their only saving grace was that they were rarely stolen. The Riva was never imported to Australia, but we did get the Lada Samara hatchback and a small Niva SUV in the '80s and '90s which had similar reliability and handling issues. 

This led to a host of Lada jokes including: Why does a Lada have a heated rear windscreen? To warm your hands while pushing it.

The Lada Classic ceases production this year to make way for the new 2116. There are no plans to import it to Australia.


Owner asks his mechanic: "Can I get a windscreen-wiper for my Lada?" The mechanic replies: "That sounds like a fair swap." 

First prize in the raffle is a Lada. Second prize is two Ladas. 

How do you double the value of a Lada? Fill the petrol tank. 

What's the difference between a Jehovah's Witness and a Lada? You can shut the door on a Jehovah's Witness. 

What do you call a Lada in the summer? An oven. What do you call a Lada in the winter? A freezer. 

How do you avoid speeding tickets? Buy a Lada. 

The Lada is one of the few cars with a light under the bonnet ... so it can be fixed at any hour. 

What is the definition of a miracle: A Lada that starts; getting a speeding ticket in a Lada; or being overtaken by a Lada.