What's the difference?
Tesla’s Cybertruck truly is a giant wedge of cutting-edge technology, and not only because its edges are so sharp you could literally cut yourself, or chop kindling, with them.
No vehicle, nor indeed even any of his stupid ideas, so perfectly represents the manic mania, the whooping, wanton wackiness of Elon Musk as this comically angular, sharp-edged savager of pedestrians.
And yet people, and American people in particular as we discovered on a trip to Los Angeles to drive one, love the Cybertruck. Tesla is said to be holding as many as 2 million pre-orders for it in North America alone and many Australians have expressed interest in buying one, when the company finally manages to build it in right-hand drive, and get it on sale down here, almost regardless of the price (spoiler alert: it’s going to be a lot).
I’ve seen a lot of strange and wildly ugly cars over the years, but if you parked the Cybertruck next to all of them, they’d just disappear because you really can’t take your eyes off its pointy, almost dangerous looking lines. It’s like a human tried to engineer an echidna on wheels.
It does make me laugh, though, and so it was with a smile on my face and acid dripping from my pen that I arrived at a giant Tesla delivery centre in LA to drive it. Come with me.
It is highly unusual to drive around in a bed, but that’s what it felt like we were being asked to do with the new and terribly exciting Tesla Model 3 Performance.
Tesla doesn’t do media launches, nor traditional marketing, so everything about this event was predictably peculiar, but when we were told this new car was causing so much excitement that we should pull a sheet over it every time we stopped, to avoid people photographing it, or touching it (“if someone tries, just politely ask them to stop” as we were advised) we hit peak weirdness.
Eventually, they did agree to pull the sheet off one and let us have a look at the most exciting car Tesla has ever made that’s not a Cybertruck.
The Performance is the Model 3 Tesla engineers and designers always wanted to make. Clearly, it was going to be called the 'Ludicrous', because some staff kept stuffing up and calling it that. It’s a shame the name wasn’t used, but at least it still gets an 'Insane' mode.
They really wanted to go all out with the original Performance version, but “a guy called Elon” didn’t want to add all the complexity that required at the time - he was focused on quality issues and ramping up production - but this go around he has let them have their heads, and encouraged them to go hog wild.
That means an entirely new power unit at the rear, staggered 20-inch wheels for sportier turn-in, aerodynamic changes for more downforce and less lift, new seats and the fitting of active dampers to a Model 3 for the first time, to help provide proper, track-ready handling.
We set out into the embrace of the adoring Los Angeles public (truly, no city on Earth boasts so many Tesla owners, they are everywhere) to find out if all the fuss is worth it.
Weird, wild, unnecessary, arguably horrific to look at, or at least challenging, too fast, too silly, the Cybertruck is many things, but all of the bad things are obvious from a distance while you only realise just how impressive, clever and intense it is once you take it for a drive.
The drive-by-wire steering alone is a revolutionary bit of tech that will surely bleed into the wider world.
Overall I thought I would hate it, but I walked away, head still shaking, with grudging respect approaching admiration for the Tesla Cybertruck.
The Model 3 Performance is one of those cars that’s undeniably impressive in almost every way, and hugely fast in absolutely every way, and yet can somehow still leave you feeling slightly cold. Or at least damp with fear sweat.
It’s not my kind of sports car, but if you love speed, and EVs, and Tesla, you’re gong to think it’s the Queen Bee’s knees.
Publishers: Please place the following in BOLD after the verdict:
Note: CarsGuide attended this event as a guest of the manufacturer, with travel, accommodation and meals provided.
Is there anything interesting about a Narwhal, or a rhinoceros? It’s hard to know whether to give the Tesla Cybertruck 10 out of 10 for how interesting its design is, or zero for how offensive it is, but it would certainly get a solid 20 out of 10 for uniqueness.
Sure, in pictures it looks pretty out there, but when you stand before it in all its shiny steel it makes you laugh out loud, to the point where it has taken your breath away.
And then you start to notice all the fingerprints on it. Every time you - or any of its many admirers - touches it, you get nasty, oily stains and keeping it clean would make looking after a car painted in a matte finish look as easy as sleeping.
So, stainless steel as a choice for constructing a car? Perhaps there’s a reason no one else has ever followed the DeLorean’s lead here, but there’s no denying it grabs your eye, and provides a certain solidity to the whole structure.
Much like a Frank Gehry building, you’re either going to love the Cybertruck and think it a work of modern art, or dismiss it as a childish man’s fantasy made real (essentially that was the design brief for this vehicle, “make Elon a toy”, and it has nailed that brief), but either way you’ll definitely have strong feelings about it.
A car, or even a pick-up truck, with no round surfaces, nor subtlety of any kind, can’t really be described as beautiful in any way. But interesting? Definitely.
Tesla’s design folks waxed long and loud about how they’d finally been able to visually lift and separate this Performance Model 3 from the basic one and they point to the new front and rear fascias, more aggressive styling, aerodynamic flicks, integrated cooling ducts, rear diffuser and carbon-fibre spoiler, which are there not only to look good, but to to “optimise lift balance and high-speed stability”.
Now, I’ll grant you it’s better than a normal Model 3, and that we were regularly approached by excited Tesla fans asking “is this the NEW PERFORMANCE OH MY GOD I WANT ONE NOW?!?"
But honestly, I still think it’s a bit subtle, and that includes the strange little 'Performance' sticker/badge on the rear, which does look a lot like the Ludicrous symbol that Elon loves, from the awful movie Spaceballs, but Tesla staff insist it’s not, nor is it Plaid.
Clearly, the design tweaks are there for a reason, and train spotters will note the differences immediately, but it’s still just not the most exciting car to look at, nor is it anywhere near as exciting to behold as it is to drive.
While the front and rear seats feel plenty spacious, that odd peaked baseball cap roof is a bit challenging in terms of headroom, and I smashed my noggin into it a few times trying to reach into the back seat for more Oreos and Mountain Dew.
You can pop up the bench seat in the back to create even more space for storage, or to provide a flat floor to sleep on.
You can also lie an American sized pizza box on the vast swathe of dash between you and the wildly angled windscreen, there’s plenty more storage on the floor between you and the passenger and then more storage bins at your hip, as well. A wireless phone charger sits twinned with the spot where you park your Tesla card key.
It’s a practical, semi-rugged feeling space, but with the usual kind of Tesla less is more feeling, except when it comes to the screen, which is stupidly large and requires far too much input when you’re driving to be safe. And there’s still no speedometer where you need one, in front of your eyes, and no head-up display, despite Tesla’s love of other jet-fighter tech, like drive-by-wire steering.
Inside, the big news is the new seats. Tesla was happy to admit the pews fitted to the previous Performance just weren’t up to the job of holding humans in place when applying so much G force.
The new 'Sport Seats' feature enhanced side cushioning and side bolsters for better lateral support during dynamic driving. And they can also be heated and ventilated.
Elsewhere, there’s some carbon-fibre trim on top of the dash, with a Tesla-first weave pattern to further help the Performance stand out within the Model 3 line-up.
Other than that, it’s pretty standard Tesla sedan, which will be familiar if you’ve ever caught an Uber in Los Angeles. Spartan, minimalist, slightly cheap-feeling.
As for the practicality of the tech, I'm still against the giant 15-inch tablet-style touchscreen, for everything, the replacement of an indicator stalk with buttons and not having a speedo right in front of your eyes, where you need it.
How does one define value when it comes to the vehicular equivalent of a cockroach, one that seems capable of surviving the apocalypse with it indestructible (but possibly slightly rusty in appearance) stainless-steel exterior, HEPA filters (will protect you from pollution, pollen and “industrial fallout”) and (almost, kind of) bowling-ball proof super-strong windows (it can allegedly survive the impact of a baseball at 112km/h - handy if someone is trying to kill you with a baseball)?
And what price can you put on the kind of attention driving a Cybertruck gets you? Perhaps only a Bugatti or a Pagani could match the level of wide-eyed, slack-jawed excitement you see from other people when you drive this thing around.
Then there’s the fact that it accelerates like an actual rocket, is allegedly so cosseted in the cabin that it’s “as quiet as outer space” (this is a comparison test I am up for, if Elon’s Space X would like to arrange it), and can tow “an average African elephant”, or 4,990kg, and has a 1134kg capacity in that vast rear tray, covered by a standard, automatic tonneau cover that’s so tough you can stand on it.
In that rear tray you’ll find a bottle opener, and some storage tubs with drainage holes to keep your beer cold or your fish frozen. You could sleep in there, on the composite bed, which is tough you don’t need a liner, but why would you when you can sleep in the truck - the dash is so large you could comfortably lie under the windscreen to sun yourself - using 'Sleep Mode', which runs the air con all night from its giant battery to keep it at your set temperature.
Speaking of your battery, you can also charge things with it using the integrated power outlets, and that includes the ability to charge another Tesla, or to re-zap your Tesla Powerwall at home and run your house during a blackout. Or the Apocalypse.
Tesla has put a price on all this, of course, and in America it ranges from US$81,895 to US$101,985. Frankly, that seems like quite good value when you add it all up, or at least it would if the Cybertruck really could tow five tonnes further than the end of the street, and if range - surely something of an issue for an outdoorsy vehicle like this - really could be guaranteed at 547km.
If and when it gets to Australia, of course, its value will need to be reassessed on what is sure to be a much, much larger number.
Tesla says the price for the Model 3 Performance will be "starting at" $80,900, plus on-road costs. There's no word on whether there will be different spec levels and the company does not like answering questions or providing information.
What we also know about Tesla is that the price quoted could move down, or up, at any time, quite randomly, so if phrases like "residual value" or "depreciation" are of interest to you, it can be a challenging brand.
That side swipe aside, this sounds like astonishingly good value for this much performance from your Model 3 Performance. A Hyundai Ioniq 5 N would give it run for fun and involvement, if not brand fans, but it's $111,000, while a Porsche Taycan kicks off at $164,000 (it is a lot more car for the money, but it might struggle to keep up with this Tesla, at least in base model form).
In terms of equipment, it's pretty much standard Model 3 fare, other than the fast bits and a spot of carbon here and there.
You get 'Autopilot' included, of course, but you can't use all of its 'Full Self Driving functionality' on Australian roads. Not yet, anyway.
Yes, I’m giving it 10. Because how could you want for more than a torque figure of 13959Nm, and a Ferrari-humbling 630kW of power to boot?
The Cybertruck is the perfect example of Elon Musk’s approach to what we’ll call science, or Twitter, or X. If it can be done, just do it, don’t ask whether it’s a good idea, or batshit insane.
So because he could fit a vast 123kWh battery and two crazy powerful motors to this pick up monster, and that could provide enough grunt to send three tonnes of mass to 100km/h in 2.8 seconds, they did.
Is it wise? Probably not. Is it wild and almost, somehow, strangely admirable? Yep.
If you’ve ever driven the previous Model 3 Performance you’ll know that it could well have come with Space X badging (arguably Elon’s more impressive engineering achievement), because it really did thrust rather than accelerate.
But this time the engineers wanted to go all out. Customers appreciated the incremental performance they got from the last Model 3 Performance version, but they told Tesla they wanted more.
With many enthusiasts among Tesla's engineering and development team, they looked to unlock the performance potential of the platform.
So, that meant a whole lot more madness and torque thump. It comes from a new Performance 4DU, an all-new drive unit - featuring an entirely new rear motor that uses bar-winding technology - unlocking 22 per cent more continuous power, 32 per cent more peak power and 16 per cent higher peak torque delivery.
Overall figures are 380kW and 740Nm, but looking at them written down, they seem big, yet not as big as they feel in this car, as it’s shoving you from a standing start to 100km/h in three seconds flat.
It feels faster. Sick-making fast, even.
Tesla claims a range of 547km between charges and that even when towing something of “reasonable size” (a smaller Tesla perhaps) it will still get 400km. I, for one, very much doubt that.
Tesla also claims you can recover up to 235km of range with just 15 minutes of Tesla Supercharging, while a charge from 10 to 80 per cent on that same Supercharger would take 44 minutes. On a 110V American plug it would take 110 hours, or 4.5 days, to fully charge from zero to 100 per cent.
Despite being heavier and gruntier, Tesla claims the new Performance Model 3 manages to be more efficient than the one it replaces, albeit delivering just a two per cent reduction in energy consumption. Claimed energy usage is 16.7 kWh/100km.
Tesla claims a total range of 528km on the WLTP, which is obviously going to drop if you drive it the way its makers clearly intended.
Using a Tesla Supercharger, you can add 228km in 15 minutes and... that's all Tesla will tell us. There are no official figures available for how long a full charge takes, on either a Tesla charge or a home wallbox of your own.
It’s fair to say the Tesla Cybertruck is an intimidating prospect in the metal. It towers over you and seems to stretch into forever, because it does, at 5.68m long (too long to fit in a standard Australian parking space).
It’s also a full 2.0m wide, 1.8m tall and weighs 3.1 tonnes, but along with its size comes the fact that it just doesn’t look… right. There’s not a round surface on it but there are plenty you could cut yourself with, or lose a finger in.
It’s no less weird inside, as the giant A-pillars, vast dash, crazy yoke steering device and graphically lovely screen confront you, making it feel like you might be on the Starship Troopers ride at Universal Studios rather than in an LA car park.
Then, while you’re getting used to this and having a good laugh at the Easter egg on the touch screen (smash the windows on the graphic of the car with your finger and you hear the sound of Elon freaking out at the infamous failure demonstration of its unbreakable glass), you’re warned that it is going to be almost as weird to drive as it looks.
This is, in part, due to the Cybertruck’s unique drive-by-wire steering - a technology previously popular only with jet fighters and other planes - which allows it to have a yoke instead of a steering wheel without being annoying, because your hands will never cross over and be left grasping air.
Yes, the Infiniti Q50 debuted with 'steer-by-wire' a decade ago, but featured a full mechanical system as a fail-safe back-up. No mechanical safety net here.
The Cybertruck has less than one full turn lock-to-lock, and it has not just passive but aggressive rear wheel steering, allowing the back wheels to turn the opposite direction to the front ones at parking speeds, quite radically, which, once you’re used to it, makes it much easier to park than seems possible.
It also makes this Tesla incredibly sharp and direct and means that, for the first few minutes of driving it you will turn the wheel, sorry, yoke, far more than necessary.
Once you get used to it, however, it is fabulous, as long as you don’t think about what would happen if the software that’s the only thing connecting you to the wheels - rather than actual moving parts - failed.
The steering makes the Cybertruck shrink around you to the point where you forget, at times, just how big it is. Combined with the low centre of gravity and the bank vault solidity of the chassis, it also makes it turn-in and handle like a much smaller sports car (and it has a turning circle that defies belief, one that’s sharper than some sedans).
Speaking of sports cars, most of them won’t keep up with the Cybertruck if there’s someone brave in its driving seat. Indeed, you’d need a proper hypercar to match its constant, surging torque (no, I don’t believe it can really have 13,000-plus Newtons, but it’s a lot), and its purely outrageous, surging speed.
Tesla has a habit of calculating torque at the wheels, not the motor(s) and gearing reductions increase torque markedly.
Yes, I do believe it would do 0 to 100km/h in three seconds, maybe slightly less, but I’m also equally sure it’s not a great idea to try (I'm also very grateful I didn't experience the problems with the throttle sticking open on some examples that recently saw every Cybertruck recalled).
The problem is that 3.0-tonne weight figure, and all that mass. It feels beyond weird to move something this big, that fast, and it quickly makes you pause for a chilling thought about whether it’s all going to be able to stop again. It does, or it did for me, but boy, it puts the wind up you every time you try.
Overall, though, it’s hard to overstate just how surprisingly good, and yes, at times even fun, the Cybertruck is to drive.
Oh, and for the trainspotters out there, claimed efficiency is 22.4kWh per 100km, but we actually saw 27kWh during our two days of test drives. Our second Cybertruck was also making some distinctly weird metallic clanking noises from underneath, particularly when we switched between forward and reverse.
It might be worth waiting for the second generation of this thing before buying one, but that won’t be an issue for Australian fans, anyway.
As far as its off-road abilities, we managed to find a bit of beach in a car park and pointed the Cybertruck at it. After an initial fearful moment of being sure we were going to sink, we just put the foot down and let all that torque power us out of trouble. It felt effortless.
Very occasionally, one drives a car that makes the human body feel inadequate to the task. I would have worried that I’m getting old, that my body is simply too flubby and my brain too broken, to cope with the kind of wild acceleration and brutal g-forces the Model 3 Performance delivers.
But, fortunately, I had a videographer in the passenger seat, a much younger man who loves fast cars, and he kept threatening to vomit when I drove it hard, too.
I’ve driven quite a few cars that you can use make your passenger sick, or hurt their necks - one obvious competitor in the shape of a Porsche Taycan Turbo S comes to mind - but it’s very rare that a vehicle is so intense it can make you, the driver, feel bilious.
Yes, you do bring this on yourself, by choosing to push this Performance anywhere near its limits through particularly sharp and intestine-shaped roads like the canyons outside Malibu Tesla chose to launch it on.
On longer, sweeping bends it was far more of a joy, and less physically punishing, but in the tight stuff it often felt like corners were being thrown at you, as if you were driving behind the Millennium Falcon and being pulled along in its wake.
The brakes, special new sporting ones with track-ready pads, were up to the task, even though it often felt like they couldn’t possibly pull you up from the speeds you were doing.
And yes, it was entirely my fault that the very first time I even gently prodded the throttle and it launched me ahead past a California Highway Patrol officer, that was my fault too. Three minutes into the drive, holding an American fine, I had already deduced that perhaps this car was too fast for my own good.
But lots of EVs are fast in a straight line, you’re really comparing the length and depth of your “oooophhh” sounds at this point, but where this one succeeds is by being a lot better in the handling and ride and cornering departments than most.
Tesla’s stated goal with this car was to move beyond straight-line speed, to become more than a one-trick pony, and to do that it’s given the Performance a stiffer structure overall and updated the springs and stabiliser bars.
Aerodynamic changes have reduced drag by five per cent, delivered a 36 per cent lift reduction, and a 55 per cent improvement in front-to-rear lift balance.
Tesla’s own, in-house version of adaptive dampers, not an option but included in every Performance, work with the car’s 'Vehicle Dynamics Controller' through its various modes - 'Insane' and 'Track' being the most… ludicrous - to immediately respond to driver inputs.
The Performance rides well on LA’s awful concrete freeways but feels absolutely nailed down when you attack even a bumpy driver’s road.
This version also has a lot more power going to the rear wheels, to help it feel more sports-car playful and to fire out of bends the way an enthusiast’s car should. And make no mistake, I met them, the people behind this car are serious driving enthusiasts (although they demur, slightly, on whether their boss is one).
Track mode will allow some serious adjustability, drifting ability and fun, so the kind of people who want to hurl around a racing circuit in silence will love it.
Perhaps the only let downs are that it still feels a bit austere inside, just not very special, and that the steering is just a bit digital, soft and uninvolving, compared to the cars they clearly benchmarked against - BMWs and Porsches.
Some unkind experts have referred to the Cybertruck as a “death machine” and a “guideless missile”, pointing out that putting a stainless steel body on top of a big old battery is inherently problematic. As is the lack of crumple zones.
Making all this very pointy metal move as fast as a McLaren supercar has also raised some questions about sanity.
Then there was the recent recall of every Cybertruck built so far:
"Cybertruck owners reported that their vehicles were at risk of getting stuck driving at full speed due to a loose accelerator pedal. Video showed the pedal itself falling off and the piece beneath wedging itself into the car’s interior, which would force the vehicle into maximum acceleration. One driver was able to save himself from a crash by holding down the brake pedal."
Elon Musk, has claimed, however, that the Cybertruck, is “much safer per mile” than its competitors.
Australia has different pedestrian safety regulations to the US and while some have posited that the Cybertruck will pass, pointing to the fact that you can buy an even bigger Ram truck here, others are not so sure.
The Tesla Cybertruck does have six airbags, and a suite of active safety features as part of its 'Autopilot' system, but it does not yet have 'Full Self Driving'.
Tesla provided no information about safety for the Performance Model but it is assumed it will be unchanged from a standard Model 3.
Aside from Autopilot that means auto emergency braking, lane keep aids, and instead of blind-spot monitoring, it gets the surround radar view and blind-spot cameras when you indicate.
The latest Model 3 has an additional centre airbag for a total of seven, as well as additional bolstering where the doors meet the body in response to requirements in its American home market.
It should be able to carry its maximum five-star ANCAP safety rating, which the original version achieved in 2019.