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The hybrid is at its best in city type driving where the electric motor does more of the driving. Out of town it will be petrol motor doing most of the work, so it might well be better in your case to go for a straight petrol engine.
We would need to know what the trailer and its load weighs to give you any meaningful suggestions. You could look at most of the one-tonne utes with diesel engines, also SUVs such as the Toyota Kluger.
Check the tyre pressures and make sure they correctly set, and have the wheel alignment checked.
Leaking water pumps are not unknown; most are changed every time the timing belt is changed because they’re leaking.
Yes, I think it’s reasonable, nothing lasts forever, and you’ve had a good run out of the car to date. Accept it and move on.
The engine used in the 1998 model was the 1 HD FT, which doesn’t suffer the big-end bearing problems.
Have the dealer let you drive a demo vehicle and see if that is the same as yours. If it isn’t than have him investigate why yours is different; if it’s not it could be that it’s the way the LDV brakes are. You could take it to a brake specialist and have them give you an opinion on it, and maybe suggest a fix.
It could be that the clutch is worn-out and needs to be replaced.
I can’t think of any reason it wouldn’t be suitable for someone in the 60s. It’s a reputable brand, with good reliability, strong resale. Others to thin about are the Toyota RAV4, Mazda CX5, Subaru Forester.
While VW’s history over the last few years has been somewhat chequered there haven’t been any major issues in more recent times. I don’t believe you should be concerned about the Tiguan.