Ultimate cars for a bachelor pad

If you’re a man - particularly a married one with kids and decades between you and your single days - hearing “bachelor pad” might be ever so slightly bittersweet, but there’s also every chance those words make you remember a time in your life when you were so footloose and fancy free you were basically Kevin Bacon.

“Man cave”, while also pleasant to ponder, is merely a lesser version of a bachelor pad.

And the ideal, dream-world bachelor pad, of course, should feature a garage filled with wonderful cars that will make you happy.

When it comes to the ultimate bachelor pad accessory, it’s hard to go past this incredible Melbourne home, where a billionaire playboy created his own “Wayne Residence”, complete with a Bat Cave private garage with a hydraulic lift entry that raises his tennis court - of course - to reveal a secret entry to the eight-car parking area 6 metres underground.

Sure, the asking price for that house has been estimated at around $30 million, so it’s not for everyone.

Another fine option, if you don’t mind moving to Japan, is buying one of the very exclusive bachelor pad/uber garages attached to “the world’s only luxury driving club”, the Magarigawa Club, a private race track not far from Japan where you can, for many millions, get an expensive membership and your own on-site chalet, complete with glass-fronted garage where you can stare at your assembled horsepower and feel very pleased with yourself.

Okay, so we’re kind of living in the unreal world here, and if you spent a bit less on the pad itself, you might be able to spray some more money on the ultimate cars for bachelor pad use.

When every day is a party, and you have no kids to worry about, it’s clear that the first rule for choosing your bachelor pad cars will be that they should only have two seats, because you’re single with no encumbrances.

This still doesn’t cut our choices down by a lot, when it comes to the kind of dream cars a well-heeled bachelor will be looking for, and we should note that personal preference would come into play, of course, but here is out list of the top cars you’d really have to have in your dream bachelor pad garage.

Porsche 911

Price: $277,800 to $660,500

Sure, a 911 has back seats, but they are, famously, only there so you have somewhere to lay your jacket.

Nothing is more certain than a man of a certain social status - wealthy and stupidly and annoyingly happy with life and himself - wanting to own a Porsche 911. This car is as close to perfection as the human race has come when it comes to building machines that move us.

It goes like the clappers - and the more money you want to spend on up-spec variants, the faster it gets - it steers beautifully and its ride and handling balance is almost implausibly perfect.

And it’s beautiful to look at, inside and out.

Chevrolet Corvette

Price: $190,000 to $374,000

Yes, in ye olden days, this list would have included some kind of hairy-chested Aussie V8, but you can’t buy those any more - deep sigh, slight sniffle, wipes away a tear - so you’ve really got to go with this American bent-eight brute instead.

And honestly, look at it, doesn’t a Corvette just scream “single person seeks fun and adventure with no strings attached”?

The fact that you can now buy one, in Australia, with the steering wheel on the correct side seems like a sign. You’re meant to have one, but may we suggest you go all out and spend top dollar for the Z06 version? It just feels a bit more bad-ass bachelor, really.

Ferrari 296 GTB

Price: $568,300

Found a bit more money down the back of that slightly scuzzy couch in your bachelor pad, or won the lottery - twice? Then you really do need to go for a Ferrari, and this one, frankly, is quite simply the greatest car that money can buy right now.

It’s stunning to look at and even more shockingly wonderful to drive, with all the power and poise that you could ask for. And, as a bachelor, it might just get you the kind of attention you’re looking for.

Mazda MX-5

Price: $41,250 to $56,290

Alright, here’s one for the realists, an actually affordable bachelor pad special, and let’s not forget, every bachelor pad would clearly need a convertible, and this is one of the best - and purest - examples ever made (and arguably one of the most popular).

It’s impossibly small, almost disturbingly cute to look at but just filled with the kind of fizzing fun and wind-in-the-hair joy that makes a mid-life crisis feel completely worthwhile. Fun, playful rear-wheel-drive handling completes the perfect and economical package.

Mercedes AMG GT63 Coupe

Price: $370,400

If you don't want a Corvette, happily there is one other, super classy way to get your backside, and your thrilled ears, into a screaming, storming V8 – and a properly luscious-looking option at that.

The Mercedes AMG GT63 Coupe is expensive, but hey, you’re bachelor, what do you care? And it does have back seats, kind of, but you’d barely notice them because you’ll be too busy thrilling to its epically impressive twin-turbo V8.

No, it’s not quite as good to drive as the Porsche 911, but it’s arguably almost as pretty to look at, and it’s got a certain character - rough yet smooth, brutal yet friendly - that no other car can offer.