Tesla Cybertruck vs Porsche Cayenne

What's the difference?

Tesla’s Cybertruck truly is a giant wedge of cutting-edge technology, and not only because its edges are so sharp you could literally cut yourself, or chop kindling, with them. 

No vehicle, nor indeed even any of his stupid ideas, so perfectly represents the manic mania, the whooping, wanton wackiness of Elon Musk as this comically angular, sharp-edged savager of pedestrians.

And yet people, and American people in particular as we discovered on a trip to Los Angeles to drive one, love the Cybertruck. Tesla is said to be holding as many as 2 million pre-orders for it in North America alone and many Australians have expressed interest in buying one, when the company finally manages to build it in right-hand drive, and get it on sale down here, almost regardless of the price (spoiler alert: it’s going to be a lot).

I’ve seen a lot of strange and wildly ugly cars over the years, but if you parked the Cybertruck next to all of them, they’d just disappear because you really can’t take your eyes off its pointy, almost dangerous looking lines. It’s like a human tried to engineer an echidna on wheels.

It does make me laugh, though, and so it was with a smile on my face and acid dripping from my pen that I arrived at a giant Tesla delivery centre in LA to drive it. Come with me. 

The Porsche Cayenne Turbo GT needs a better name. This is the king of Cayennes and quite possibly the ruler of all super SUVs.

Well, the Cayenne Turbo GT is the fastest SUV around the Nurburgring Nordschleife. Not just that, it has such colossal power and torque it'll be side-by-side with a Porsche 911 GT3 RS in a sprint from 0-100km/h. No, a better name for this SUV would be the Cayenne GT3.

Which is perfect for me because I'm at the point in my life where although I love full-on and noisy cars I also have a full-on and noisy family.

We lived with the Cayenne Turbo GT for a week to find out if this super SUV was also a super family car - from practicality to safety.

We're also a family with ridiculously high expectations of luxury SUVs having lived with and tested each of the Cayenne Turbo GT's rivals - from the Lamborghini Urus and Bentley Bentayga to the Aston Martin DBX and Alfa Romeo Stelvio Quadrifoglio.