Maserati Quattroporte manual 2007 review

The trident logo on the grille and the hefty proportions – five metres from tip to curvaceous tail – give it the look of some sleek speedboat that’s grown wheels.

Inside, it’s a lush millionaire’s playground, with more black and red leather than a bordello and enough carbon fibre to make an F1 geek weep.

The sheer size and 1863kg weight of the thing – not to mention the weight of the $258,000 pricetag – initially put you off having a genuine go.

But the way the car’s superlative Skyhook suspension dismisses bumps and keeps you in touch with the road, the way it turns in, the Ferrari-like feel of the steering and the willingness of the engine eventually tempt you.

It is then that you discover that not only is the rich band of torque available low down in the rev rage – for easy cruising – it provides a real shove through the top end as well. There’s even a big, fat pocket of power that waits in the shrieking 5000-7000rpm redline rush.

Of course, if you’re exploring that part of the engine’s abilities, you’re probably breaking several laws at once. Then again, you’ll probably still have a massive smile plastered across your face by the time the police catch up with you.

Get to know it, and the Quattroporte can provide some serious thrills – yet all the while your passengers, including the two in the back – are lounging around in louche luxury. The massive brake pedal has plenty of feel, but it seems like you need to really squeeze the stoppers at times. Of course, pulling up nearly two tonnes of expensive metal is a lot of work.

If you leave the gearbox in D, it is smooth enough – although still not as seamless as a conventional six-speed auto (luckily Maserati has one of these on its way here soon). If you put it in Sport mode, however, the D-option really starts to feel shunty, and not very executive class at all.

The best option, obviously, is to change the gears yourself, using the Rolex-feeling paddles behind the steering wheel. The bits where your fingers touch the back of the flappy bits is even lined with soft material. Nice. The DuoSelect transmission’s changes are fabulously quick and effortless, but the whole effect was spoiled for me by the fact that the paddles don’t turn with the wheel, so if you want to change a cog mid-corner, you have to take one hand off the tiller.

Other car-makers fix this problem by having the paddles attached to the wheel, so they’re always near your fingers.

Of course, it’s the kind of thing you’d only really notice if you’re pressing on. And most buyers of the Quattroporte don’t want to drive it like it’s a Ferrari. If they wanted a Ferrari, they’d buy one of those, too.

The Maserati is a magnificent boulevarde cruiser and it eats up freeway miles with the kind of effortlessness a cheetah displays at a slow jog.

But this super saloon has so much sporting heart that it seems a shame many owners will only ever trundle from yacht club to golf club in them.

Every time there’s a Maserati sold to someone like that, there’s a group of engineers in Italy who go down to the café and cry quietly into their coffees.

Then they go out, get drunk and be sick on their shoes.