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Volkswagen Crafter 2007 Review

John Lennon was a fan of enormous German vehicles. In February, 1970, the soon-to-be-ex Beatle took delivery of a Mercedes-Benz 600 Pullman limousine, built to his own specifications.

Lennon devotees may be surprised to learn he requested that the interior be lined entirely with black velvet.

No cheap sheepskin seat covers for John; he didn't give fleece a chance.

What might Lennon have made of Volkswagen's new Crafter, which, being German and gigantic, fulfils at least two of his preferred design requirements? (Velvet isn't available, not even as an option.) Let's approach it as he may have, had it not been for Mark David Chapman's 1980 intervention.

First, you may need to talk any potential suicides down from the roof. The Crafter is so tall that it could serve as a launch platform for hang gliders.

Its dimensions are hilarious: even the VW badge on the grille, for example, is fully the size of a man's outspread hand. An early VW Bug would be squashed by the insignia alone.

So the Crafter easily meets Lennon's size needs.

Enter the cabin through surfboard-length doors and take a (non-velvet) seat.

Actually, these seats will distress those expecting even modest style; they're finished in the kind of pattern you find in cheap hotel rooms.

Speaking of which, take a look through the interior window at that vast area behind you. The Crafter can accommodate, seriously, an entire AFL team. Standing up. David Hicks would feel agoraphobic in here.

I've driven a lot of vehicles, but the Crafter is the first to come equipped with an echo. Lennon might be put in mind of the Cavern Club, or (so staggeringly huge is this cargo space) his wife Yoko's musical inability.

Lennon's Mercedes had a record player. The Crafter has an excellent five-speaker CD player, which doesn't skip anywhere near as much as the sound system must have in John's limo.

If you're a rave-style dancer, you know, wave your hands in the air like you just don't care, please go ahead. Like Lennon, I'm average height and could barely reach the ceiling from the driver's seat.

Other interior appointments of note: aircraft-style overhead baggage compartments above both driver and passenger; an Esky-like supplementary “glove box” beneath the passenger seat; sun visors of sufficient width and depth to interest Tropfest projectionists; and electric motors somehow powerful enough to raise and lower windows made from more fused sand than an entire nuked Middle East.

Whoa! Better fire this baby up and go for a drive to escape any anger over that “nuked Middle East” line; peace dude Lennon would not approve.

This Crafter ran a 120kW, 2.5-litre, five-cylinder turbocharged diesel that displayed the typical narrow-powerband traits of turbo-diesel engines.

Combined with the test Crafter's slow-shifting automatic gearbox, this made for sometimes-jerky progress until the upchange sweet spots were located.

Once under way (and once you're over the feeling that you're in charge of something with a centre of gravity two metres above your head), the Crafter is strikingly chuckable, with loads of Pirelli-assisted grip.

Just remember that, when zipping through tight city turns, you've got a whole continent of van behind you.

Otherwise, you'll bang kerbs with the rear wheels — an occurrence that kind of detracts from the sensation you're driving an insanely elevated diesel Lotus.

Freeway travel aboard the Crafter is effortless, aided by forward and side views usually enjoyed only by the likes of those in air traffic control towers.

Or perhaps from the sixth floor of the Dakota building, where Lennon was able to gaze over Central Park but where he no doubt missed the Crafter's deep-torque ability to overtake lesser machines on steep hills.

Some of Lennon's later works, I think, reflect this sense of loss.

Beatles producer George Martin is now entirely deaf in one ear and partly deaf in the other, which is a particular shame given the acoustic novelties offered by Volkswagen's mega-van.

If you've ever been aboard a large, wooden-hulled sailboat, you'll probably recall the sound of timber twisting in response to ocean forces.

Similarly, you sometimes hear, while driving an unladen Crafter, the peculiar, guitar-like notes of large, thin, metal panels reacting to uneven roads. Martin could've used those tones on Sgt Pepper's.

Range and Specs

VehicleSpecsPrice*
35 LWB 2.5L, Diesel, 6 SP MAN No recent listings 2007 Volkswagen CRAFTER 2007 35 LWB Pricing and Specs
50 LWB 2.5L, Diesel, 6 SP MAN No recent listings 2007 Volkswagen CRAFTER 2007 50 LWB Pricing and Specs
50 LWB XL 2.5L, Diesel, 6 SP MAN No recent listings 2007 Volkswagen CRAFTER 2007 50 LWB XL Pricing and Specs
35 LWB XL 2.5L, Diesel, 6 SP MAN No recent listings 2007 Volkswagen CRAFTER 2007 35 LWB XL Pricing and Specs
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