Naughty number plates

Love them or loathe them, personalised number plates are here to stay.

And with myPlates introducing new (and legal) colour schemes, patterns and designs you can expect to see plenty more individualised plates on our roads now and in the future.

In true-blue style, Aussies have been testing the patience of number plate approvers with rude, crude and outright hilarious idioms – many of which will never make it onto our roads.

So if you were thinking B1ACH, H0RNEE or B00ZY might go well with your wheels then you’re going to be bitterly disappointed. These are just some examples that have been submitted for approval, only to be rejected by the RTA.

Comedian Steve Bedwell has brought together these tried and denied number plate submissions in a small book. Naughty NMB PL8 shows some of the best phrases out there. Be warned, you may want to keep this out of reach of the kids.

For the cleaner minds out there, you can check the availability of your desired numbers and letters on myPlates.com.au. To my delight I was able to get BROGAN (not BOGAN as one colleague mistakenly read) with the mighty green and red Rabbitohs styling.

The only drawback, it would cost a one-off order fee of $250 and annual debit of $440 – maybe a little pricey to attract plenty of abuse from rival footy fans. Not to mention having it read as BOGAN on my street.

But with Father’s Day coming up on Sunday, one of these plates would make a great ‘thinking outside the box’ pressie.