What's the difference?
Can a car company show off? It seems absurd; the kind of embarrassing, unedifying behaviour that only ego-driven, status-obsessed human beings engage in. And yet look at BMW’s new 8 Series, with its shinily silly cut-glass gear lever, its laser headlights, its outrageously powerful V8 engine and its bullfrog-but-beautiful stance - surely this is showing off on a corporate scale?
To be fair, when a car company makes a new range-topper - and BMW only applies the number 8 to its most special vehicles, think Z8 and i8 - it really is about making a kind of look-at-me statement.
A car as obviously ostentatious as the M850i xDrive Coupe (and Convertible) has to appeal to buyers, even if it’s only a small and wealthy target market. And there is plenty that’s appealing about this old-fashioned yet modern-looking grand tourer, from the incredible way it accelerates to its luxuriant ride quality and decadent interior.
It would want to be impressive, of course, with a price tag of $272,900 (or $9000 more for the Convertible).
So, has the new 8 Series BMW got what it takes to separate the very rich from their hard-earned megabucks? We donned our shiniest shoes and went to the launch to find out.
Eco-friendly vehicles are the leather pants of the new-car world; it takes a lot of money to make them look good (but people who own them think they look fantastic regardless). If you don't have a gazillion dollars to drop on a Tesla, then it's a one-way ticket to Prius town. And really, who wants that?
But what if it didn't have to be that way? Behold the BMW 530e iPerformance.
Seemingly tired of waiting for the Australian Government to introduce any sort of meaningful subsidy for green cars, BMW has made the choice simple: you can have a petrol-powered 530i for $108,900, or opt for the plug-in hybrid 530e for... $108,900. This is truly revelatory thinking.
There's no specification penalty, either, and the hybrid will power to 100km/h in an identical 6.2 seconds, so you're not even any slower. But you are sipping less fuel, emitting less C02 and basking in the general smugness, and sweet silence, that comes with feeling like you're saving the world.
So what's the catch?
Does the world really need a car as outrageously loud, over-the-top, exclusive and stupidly fast as BMW’s new 8 Series? Obviously not, but BMW clearly felt that its range, and its customers, could do with something like this. On paper, and even from the kerb, it seems a strange beast - luxurious and yet lightning quick - but from the driver’s seat it just instantly makes sense. And makes you smile. Scarily, there’s an even faster 8 Series Competition version to come…
Not all superheroes wear capes, and we're proud to report the 530e does its bit for green motoring without feeling the need to shout about it. And with no price or specification penalty, it's easier being green than ever before, and the pricing of this BMW really puts the cat amongst the canaries.
In terms of improving on the car it’s replacing, the new 8 Series pretty much smacks it out of the park. Time has not been kind to vehicles fitted with pop-up headlights and the previous 8 Series, which roamed the planet in limited numbers from 1989 to 1999, with now-unimaginable V12 engines, seems a strange-looking beast, with its tiny little kidney grille almost hiding beneath a BMW badge.
The new M850i is a simply stunning looking beast, particularly in Coupe form (the Convertible is not ugly, but it just doesn’t look as complete). Extremely wide and menacingly low, it seems to loom over whatever patch of ground its parked on, giving off an air of magnificent malevolence.
It looks fantastic when followed from behind, but it’s the front view - featuring the thinnest headlight design ever seen on a BMW for a sleek, Iron Man-like face - that really grabs your attention.
Proportion, poise and big old 20-inch wheels give it plenty of presence, while the way the glasshouse tucks in at the rear only magnifies its powerful hips.
BMW has also thrown plenty of design flair at the interior, where you’ll find the unusual yet fabulous-feeling glass gear lever (there’s more of this sparkly, cut-crystal-like stuff on the volume knob, Start button and iDrive controller).
Not only does it feel truly unique and expensive in your hand, but it has an 8 buried beneath it, which shifts and shimmers as you try and see it through the many angles of the glass.
Elsewhere, the cabin is swathed in merino leather and feels undeniably classy, with a touch of modernity via its big screen, but it’s still not quite as beautiful as the cockpit you’d find in an Audi of a similar price. Close, but not quite.
Crucially, there's nothing weird about the way the 530e looks. While some green cars look like they've been designed by one of the kids from 3rd Rock from the Sun, the 530e looks much the same as the rest of the range, save a few tiny but telltale giveaways - like the e-drive badging outside, and what looks like a bonus fuel flap tucked in behind a front wheel that houses the whole plug-in bit.
And we really, really like it. It's elegant and statesman-like from every angle, and looked especially important in the deep-blue colour of our test vehicle. It's not over-designed, with body creases used sparingly, and the occasional glint of polished silver that rings the windows and the grille adds a final sense of shininess to an understated design.
Inside, there's more going on than you might normally find in a BMW. The hugely complicated digital display screen now includes everything from battery charge, power usage to the usual assortment of speedometers and petrol readouts.
It doesn't feel overdone or crazily festooned, but there's more at play here than in your usual BMW.
The dash is busy, too, with a wide screen emerging from a centre stack that also houses a CD player and a digital aircon setup, which in turn sits above a complex centre console from which you can alter driving settings, control the multimedia or cycle through electric modes. It doesn't feel overdone or crazily festooned, but there's more at play here than in your usual BMW.
Elsewhere inside, the seats are beautifully designed, with a quilted leather highlight through the middle, while the gloss-black strip that lines the dash hides a dual strip of ambient interior lights that also runs across all four doors.
At the very least, you’d have to say the 8 Series is fit for purpose. The seats are hugely comfortable for long journeys, so that’s practical, there’s a handy tray for your phone, where it will be wirelessly charged, and there are two cupholders in front of that, and storage for bottles in the doors.
No human larger than primary school age will ever sit in the back, so there’s not a lot going on back there.
In terms of boot space, it’s reasonably capacious at 420 litres, or 350 litres for the Convertible.
As the world's motoring tastes shrink faster than a lap-banded Clive Palmer, it's easy to forget the joys of the full-size sedan, but the space for passengers and luggage in the 5 Series will have you questioning your downsizing ways.
Upfront, there's plenty of room between front-seat riders, who will also share two smallish cup holders, along with room in each front door for bottles. There's also a dedicated wireless charge pad (which, because of its tight design, is crazy difficult to actually remove your phone from), but you'll also get two USB points and a power outlet that's hidden in the sizeable centre storage bin as standard fit.
Backseat riders get heaps of space, both in width and in leg room behind the front seats. And there's twin air-con temp controls and twin power outlets, too. But middle-seat passengers will be forced to sit with their legs on either side of the raised tunnel, which will definitely impact on comfort.
The boot's still sizeable, despite shrinking slightly to house the battery/fuel tank setup
Best to ditch the fifth passenger, then, and deploy the pull-down seat divider, which also houses two cup holders. Finally, there are three ISOFIX attachment points, one for each seat in the back.
The boot's still sizeable, despite shrinking slightly to house the battery/fuel tank setup (the tank has been moved further back to accomodate the batteries), and can be adjusted to be a flat load area if you'd like, offering up to 410 litres with the rear seats in place.
It can be hard to use the word “value” when talking about a car that costs north of $270,000, and keep in mind that this 8 Series is thus even more expensive than a Porsche 911. And a car has to be very good indeed to be worth more than one of those.
We would respectfully suggest that this BMW is pitched a little high in price terms.
Staggeringly, while the standard equipment list is lengthy and the inclusions are high end, you can still spend even more on options, and fairly easily push the price past $300,000 - Pure Metal Silver pain, for example, will set you back $10,400, while a pack of external carbon bits will hit you for another $7500, or $6,600 for the Convertible.
Standard equipment includes, deep breath, 20-inch M-branded light-alloy wheels, a tyre-pressure indicator, M Sport Brakes, M Sport Differential, Adaptive M Suspension Professional with Integral Active Steering, Active anti-roll stabilisation, Comfort Access including a kick-open tailgate, wireless phone charging, Soft Close Doors, BMW Crafted Clarity Glass Application, Driving Assistant Professional, Parking Assistant Plus, including 3D View and Reverse Assistant, Laserlights, a 12.3-inch digital instrument cluster and a 10.25-inch Control Display, metallics, paint, merino leather upholstery, heated steering wheel and arm rests, and seats, a 16-speaker harmon.kardon sound system, a Head-Up Display and the hugely pointless Gesture Control.
The Convertible model also gets an Air Collar, to keep your neck warm when the roof is down.
The 530e commands a 530i-equalling $108,900 price tag, which is genuinely impressive when you consider all the extra bits and pieces that go into make a plug-in hybrid. That money buys you a well-equipped car, and only those allergic to money need reach for the options list.
As standard, you'll find leather-wrapped - and heated in the front - sports seats, 19-inch alloy wheels and a 10.25-inch touchscreen that pairs with a really very good 16-speaker Haman Kardon stereo. Wireless Apple CarPlay is available, but it'll cost you an extra $500. To be honest, though, we didn't miss it.
You'll also find adaptive LED headlights, a huge head-up display (so big, in fact, that it impedes vision when climbing steep hills), dynamic dampers, an auto opening/closing boot and a self-parking system, along with BMW's suite of self-driving tech - but we'll come back to that under the Safety sub-heading.
Truly, there is one impressive engine sitting under that big, hulking bonnet. The M-fettled 4.4-litre V8 has two turbochargers located inside the V of the block for “immediacy of response”, and they certainly deliver that.
Peak power of 390kW is delivered between 5500rpm and 6000rpm while its hefty 750Nm of torque is on song, for effortless overtaking, from 1800rpm all the way to 4600rpm.
Looking at those rev figures it’s clear to see that you are initially launched by a huge wave of torque and then, while you’re still drawing breath, the power really kicks in.
All that grunt equates to 0 to 100km/h in just 3.7 seconds, which is very fast indeed, and you also get to enjoy a growly, guttural soundtrack, thanks to the standard Sport Exhaust.
The Convertible has the same engine with the same figures, but it’s slightly heavier and thus takes 3.9 seconds to hit the tonne. Which is still stupidly fast for this much car.
Drift around in pure EV mode and you'll be relying on the 530e's 83kW and 250Nm electric motor, which will provide what BMW refers to as "between 28 and 32 real-world kilometres".
Run out of range, or simply use too much throttle, and the 2.0-litre petrol engine comes into play, adding 135kW and 320Nm to the mix. All up, that's 185kW and 420Nm - respectable numbers by any measure, and enough to match the petrol-powered 530i's zero to 100km/h sprint of 6.2 seconds.
That power is fed through an eight-speed automatic transmission before being sent exclusively to the rear wheels, where it belongs.
Good luck ever matching these figures, with all that V8 temptation beneath your right foot, but the claimed number, at least, is 10.4 litres per 100km for the Coupe and 10.6 for the Convertible. During our launch drive we would have been absolutely nowhere near those figures.
Like a Facebook relationship status, it's complicated. The 530e will sip a claimed combined 2.3 litres per hundred kilometres on the claimed/combined cycle, which is amazing for a car this size. Better still, it seems genuinely achievable - at the vehicle's launch, our own Richard Berry recorded a stunning 2.0 litres per hundred kilometres on a short test route.
But that's with a full load of battery charge on board. For our week with the 530e we were unable to actually plug it in (living in Sydney, I can't afford a garage), so once the initial battery charge had been used we were back to mostly petrol power. Unlike some other plug-in hybrids we've driven, we found it very difficult to recharge the battery to any meaningful level using regenerative braking, so once we were flat we stayed flat. If we had plugged it in, it would have been a two-hour recharge using a specialised wall unit, or about four hours using a normal plug.
As a result, though, our fuel use was closer to 7.0 litres per hundred kilometres after some considerable real-world testing.
There is a sizeable distance between driving a small, lithe sports car that can sprint from 0 to 100km/h in a scorching 3.7 seconds, and then piloting something that feels as large, and louche, as a cruise ship that can do the same thing.
Accelerating in the M850i is an experience that can only be described as hilarious. There’s just so much mass attempting to move so quickly that it defies belief. The way the nose rears into the air, and the rear end seems to dip towards the ground, brings to mind a bucking bronco, although a feisty polo pony would probably be more appropriate.
It’s easy to see why this car is all-wheel drive rather than the traditional BMW rear-driven layout, because there’s just no way you could get all that grunt to the ground with two wheels, or not without some serious power oversteer issues.
For a car that weighs more than 1.8 tonnes, the 8 Series is surprisingly fluid and involving on winding stretches of road. It feels hunkered down and hammered into the road, which is less of a surprise, but the steering is so perfectly weighted and the power delivery so well calibrated that it really encourages you to push on, and rewards you sense of adventure with smile-widening pace.
It’s quite something to suggest of a car that costs a quarter of a million dollars, but the M850i actually exceeds your expectations in terms of driving joy. On paper, it looks like a straight-line bully, or merely a very grand grand tourer, and it does eat up the miles on a freeway with class and ease, but when you want to point it at a mountain pass, it excels there as well.
We drove the new 8 Series back to back with BMW’s also-new Z4, and what really stood out was not just the gulf in power and poise, but the huge difference in the ride/handling balance.
The M850i really can soak up the worst our roads can throw at it with aplomb, while still making you feel connected to the ground beneath you, and inspiring confidence, and its abilities really did make the Z4 feel very brittle and hard indeed.
To be fair, we didn’t get to throw this big luxo-barge at any sections of really sharp S-bends, or 35km/h corners, and no doubt it would be challenge for it to change direction quickly, but through fast sweepers it really does excel.
And as far as its grand-touring design brief, it absolutely nails it.
There's so much to like about the way the 530e sets about saving the world, and that's mostly because it doesn't shout about it, either to the driver or the outside world.
It's very much an underpants inside its pants superhero, which makes us like it even more. Set off in EV mode, and the 530e will drift silently away from the curb, burning battery power over fuel for as many as 30(ish) kilometres. But equally important, the shift from green to gas is largely imperceptible, with the petrol engine joining in willingly when you ask it to - usual via a prod of your right foot.
It is so effortlessly smooth that you need to really pay attention to notice the eight-speed 'box changing gears at city speeds, and it's commendably quiet, whichever drive mode you're in.
Downsides? Well, it doesn't feel quite as sharp as it's conventional-engined siblings. The batteries add around 230kg in weight, which never helps, and it all feels a little softer and a little less dynamic, even with Sport mode engaged. BMW assures us the adaptive suspension setup and tune is identical, but the 530e feels noticeably softer when you tackle a twisting back road. And that encourages you to use your right foot a little more, which in turn negates the whole electric thing in the first place.
One of the great joys of BMWs has always been their ability to transform from cosseting comfort to rear-drive rocket when you want them to, and you can't help but notice the 530e isn't quite up to that challenge. But if your intentions are mostly city- and freeway-based, then this plug-in BMW is almost indiscernible from its petrol-powered sibling.
There’s no ANCAP rating to go on for this car, and nor is there anything similar out of Europe to give us guidance, but you do get eight airbags - front, full-length sides and head protection on the sides and in headliner, plus knee airbags for the front seats.
The 8 Series also gets Driving Assistant Plus as standard, which includes Active Cruise with full Stop&Go function, which BMW considers to be “full AEB”, meaning it will bring the car to a standstill, automatically, when required.
You'll want for little here, with front, front-side and full curtain airbags joining parking sensors, a surround-view camera and a self-parking system.
You can also expect active cruise control, lane control assist with lane keep assist (so it will stay between the lane markings for you), AEB and cross-traffic warning. And all of that means that, technically, the 530e can drive for you. That is, of course, if you don't mind driving like a dick - in full-autonomous mode it will swerve from lane marking to lane marking like it's playing bumper bowling.
BMW is sticking with its not-very-industry-leading three-year, unlimited-kilometre warranty, and says its customers are happy with that, rather than the five- or seven-year warranties some other companies offer. When you’re paying this much for a car, it seems a trifle mean, frankly.
Like all modern BMWs, the servicing requirements for your M850i are controlled by the Condition Based Servicing (CBS) system, which means that “advanced algorithms monitor and calculate the conditions in which a vehicle is used, including mileage, time elapsed since its last service, fuel consumption and how a vehicle is driven”.
That information allows the car to decide for itself when an annual vehicle inspection or oil service is due.
BMW offers two fixed-price servicing plans, under its BMW Service Inclusive (BSI), which is available in two packages: Basic - $2,290 for five years/80,000km or $5,170 for Plus.
Like the rest of the 5 Series range, the 530e falls under BMW's three-year, unlimited-kilometre warranty. There are no set service intervals, either, with BMW using what it calls 'condition-based' servicing. In other words, the car will tell you when it requires a trip to the service centre.
The batteries are covered by a separate warranty covering six years or 100,000km.