Fun Stuff

Two-time winner John Bowe leads the pilgrimmage - heading a group that includes Glenn Seton and Jason Bargwanna and Brad Jones and Neil Crompton - for a unique tilt at the Mountain.They are all chasing victory in the 12-hour Bathurst Showroom Enduro with cars which are much closer to stock than anything in The Great Race in October.The entry for the half-day grind is dominated by turbocharged Mitsubishi Lancers and Subaru Imprezas, with a sprinkling of fast Fords and Commodores and BMWs, and Bowe will be trading his traditional blue-oval cap for Subaru overalls.Bowe has never raced an all-wheel drive car before, but a shakedown at Eastern Creek in Sydney last week has him pumped for another run at Bathurst."I did 23 Bathurst 1000s so any opportunity to drive on that track is special. It's always good. It makes the rest of our Australian tracks look pretty second-rate," Bowe says."I'm not sure what to expect in the Subaru, but it looks like it will be a bit of fun. We still have a bit of work to do on our car but I can understand why people are drawn to this sort of car - you just put your foot down and it drags you around the corner."Bowe has battled since retiring from V8 Supercars at the end of 2007, but the 50-something racer re-invented himself last year as the one to beat in historic racing with a thundering V8 Camaro."I really like that series and the car I'm driving. It reminds people that you are still around," Bowe says.He was quickest qualifier in every race he contested with the Camaro, although his target is more modest at Bathurst."The aim is always to finish in the top 10. But with a 12-hour race you never really know," Bowe says."I'm with a good team run by Jim Hunter, and he and Gavin Bullas can both drive, but the first thing in a long-distance race is to have a reliable car. Subaru builds a pretty solid car so I'm hopeful."The Bathurst 12-hour runs from February 20-22 and is the start of a mixed year for Bowe."I'm doing the Biante series again in the Camaro, I have plenty of corporate work with Dunlop and Rare Spares and Wilson Parking, and driver training. I'd also like to do the odd drive in an historic open- wheeler or sports car."So I'm retired, but not retired, if you know what I mean. I still love racing and I want to keep buys. That's what Bathurst is all about, with the chance of a bit of a good result if we're lucky." 

And airlines know that. Which is why they try and fill the hours with stale food, yesterday’s TV shows and comments from the pilot.When you’re this bored, anything will do for entertainment. Even the safety briefing’s inadvertent form of live comedy. (If you don’t believe me on that one, try nodding sympathetically at the crew’s synchronised choreography with the lifejacket, whistle and oxygen mask. They’ll appreciate it. They know they look idiotic.)But after you’ve been refused an encore performance, broken a molar on the dinner roll and gritted the rest of your teeth through a rerun of Two And A Half Men – what’s left?Ah yes. The in-flight shopping brochure. Every airline has one. And people must keep buying from them, or surely they wouldn’t keep printing them.Most offer a range of fragrance and cheap jewelry, and for some odd reason they all have scale models of their planes. Which would be akin to offering David Hicks the Build-Your-Own-Guanatanamo-Bay Lego set as a farewell gift. Why would you want a souvenir of the lost time, deprivation and appalling food?You’d imagine the airlines might list something more useful for long flights, like reading material. The only one we’ve seen is Virgin, but that’s Richard Branson’s biography… which probably keeps it out of the remainder bins at any rate.But a new world of retail impulse dawned when we recently got our mitts on the in-flight catalogue from Emirates. Designed to attract the wallets of the airline’s predominantly overindulged expat business base, the pages bristle with novel loot – Picasso and Warhol prints, or a golf weekend with Gary Player ($550,000 … in case you’re very keen on improving your stroke).There’s a Frauscher 909 Benaco motor yacht, a lavish $695,000 fast twin-shaft cruiser that apparently “converts smoothly into a night lounger with accommodation for four” and includes an accessories list entirely composed of “rope, boat hook and fire extinguisher” – not a great deal, considering that price tag.The catalogue also lists the $293,000 U-Boat Worx C-Quester submarine, which can take one person to a depth of 50 metres for up to 150 minutes. However, the maximum payload is 100kg, which means that most of the business expats will have to push away from the corporate trough before they get a look-in. Or at least a cheek in.Now, none of these would be considered impulse purchases around our office. But one item in the catalogue did spark an immediate wave of lust-have. While it’s way out of our price range – and hardly a bargain at $147,000 (more than twice the price of the last pristine one we spotted for sale in Australia) – the restored 1957 Mercedes-Benz SL 190 roadster is not only one of the loveliest cars ever made, but one of the most desirable objects of any kind.With a four-cylinder 1.9-litre engine, four-speed manual gearbox and classic lines, they just don’t make them like that any more.And Emirates just don’t sell them like that any more. There was only one on offer, and when we hit the catalogue’s website it was gone. Much to the relief of our bank manager, who hadn’t really seemed convinced that the SL represented a decent replacement for our superannuation fund’s recent mishandling of the retirement kitty. 

The jazz star and major car enthusiast is the new host of the Aussie version of the TG down under after a major off-season shake-up.Officially, former host Charlie Cox is returning "reluctantly" to the UK for "business reasons".Unofficially, the whole TG on-air team has taken a hammering from critics who say the show lacks the spark of the British original.Cox was never going to match Jeremy Clarkson, who has become a worldwide superstar, but he still struggled to be sharp or insightful. And his driving ability, reflected in a couple of Bathurst 1000 starts in the late 1980s, was never exploited for TG."It seems best to leave the show," Cox says.Morrison cuts in alongside the surviving on-air talent, Warren Brown and Steve Pizzati, with a huge reputation - and not just as a jazz musician.He has a personal car collection closing on 100 vehicles, was the presenter for a previous Aussie TV program, has raced and rallied - including a couple of massive forest crashes - and ridden motorcycles."This is going to be fun," says Morrison. 

From racing to the classic car scene, my interests are broad. My father started buying Matchox cars before I was born. We still have them, along with a growing collection of 1;18 scale models. I started collecting car magazines when I was 10, so that means 36 years of Motorsport, Autocar, Road and Track etc etc etc. My wife does not bother opening the door to my study. I also have all issues of Cavallino, which my wife wants me to sell as I once made the mistake of telling her what they are worth.Beside my 1967 250SL Pagoda, which I got my licence in and have been driving for the past 29 years, my main car-related hobby is building 3D computer models.Essentially I use the same technology and software that Pixar used to build Lightning McQueen and the other characters in Cars. However my interest lies more towards photo-realistic modelling of real cars.If you are looking at getting into a car-related hobby and have a reasonable computer I can highly recommend it. 3D modelling has two significant advantages over all other hobbies relating to cars.It is free and it takes up no room in the garage.. so there can’t be any complaints from the wife.After my magazine and model collection I have no room left.And I’ve precious little expendable income left, either.Luckily, one of the best 3D applications around is a free open source program called Blender (download it from www.blender3d.org). The initial learning curve is steep but perseverance pays off. There are many free on-line video tutorials and Googling 3D car modelling tutorials will deliver more than you could possibly ever need.Just to the right you can find a link to a gallery one of my early models. It's a 1954 Ferrari 375 Plus. One of the images is a rendering in the livery of the Carrera Pan-Americana entrant. This was the first model I built using the box polygon method. Previously I was using a technology called NURBS, which stands for non-uniform rational b-splines and while very accurate is as big a pain to use as its name suggests.Here in Australia, there is a very active community of modellers, and a number of them use their models for race-car sims (which is a whole world in itself).If you are interested in race car sims you could visit rfactor.net where you can find the best non-game race car simulator around. At rfactorcentral.org you can download everything from a GTHO to the V8 Supercar grid and highly accurate models of most Australia race circuits. Bathurst can be found in the Hall of Fame section.So I am sitting on one of our fabulous trains typing this, at least it hasn't broken down yet. I guess I'll just continue modelling the Zonda I am working on ..... that will kill the next 45 minutes it takes to travels the final 10 kilometres to the office.

It uses two wheels but they are positioned right next to each other, giving it the illusion of being a powered unicycle. Even better, it might help save the planet.Ben Gulak, from Ontario, Canada, has spent several years building the electric Uno, that uses gyroscopic technology — like the infamous Segway commuter device — to stay upright.It has only one switch, on or off, and is controlled entirely by body movement. The rider leans forwards to accelerate to speeds of 25mph and back to slow down.The Uno has been turning heads wherever it has been ridden.“I was inspired to make the bike after visiting China a few years ago and seeing all the smog,” said Ben.“They all drive little bikes that are really polluting and I wanted to make something to combat that.”The green machine is so small and light it can be taken indoors and carried into lifts - and is recharged by being plugged into the mains.The wheels are independent, allowing the bike to turn on a sixpence and the technology takes the balance and guesswork out of riding a unicycle.“The bike takes a bit of getting used to because you have to learn to trust it. But it doesn't take long,” said Ben.Its 18-year-old creator is now looking for investors to get the Uno into production and on to the streets.

Like everyone else I’d been waiting with bated breath for the premiere of the show, but in the end I got caught up at work and completely forgot about it.Fortunately, someone recorded it for me.What an anti-climax!For all intents and purposes the show is a carbon copy of the British version, right down to the Pommy sounding Charlie Cox who seems more by design than default to have taken on the role of Jeremy Clarkson.The studio looks the same, the leader board is the same and the tongue in cheek delivery is the same - although the latter comes across as more than a little forced.They’ve even replicated the Stig, right down to the same coloured suit and helmet - although they couldn’t come up with a better name for him.Who is he?To be honest, who gives a flying duck?Don’t get me wrong. It’s not sour grapes, because I for one didn’t apply for a job but then I’d probably be as boring as bat shit in the role anyway.Nup. I’ve nothing against SBS’s choice of presenters, but surely to God the producers could have tried something a bit different?Why didn’t we get a female presenter for instance?But of course that would have meant departing from the formula – the successful formula.Do they really believe Aussies are that gullible?Do they really think we’re going to sit there for eight weeks, night after night and swallow the same old storylines recycled all over again?Surely not?For me the highlight of the first show had to be cartoonist Warren’s bizarre shark fishing expedition in a converted Mini Moke.Granted, that took more than a little imagination, but you can see how they segued their way there.Australia . . . famous for . . . our beaches . . . and our predators . . . especially sharks . . . I know let’s weld a cage on a car and go diving for while pointers.Brilliant!So, what next?How long will it be before they pop an amphibious conversion into Sydney Harbour and bravely set out across the Tasman for New Zealand?Because, in the end, it’s got nothing to do with cars really - it’s all about entertainment.The original might have started out as a straight motoring show, but it has evolved into something very different, a new and pure form of entertainment, revolving around the verbal sparring between Clarkson, May and Hammond.Rather than allow the show and presenters to grow in their new found roles however SBS has made a bee line straight for the finish line - don’t pass go, don’t collect $200 and don’t worry about paying your dues.Only time will tell whether this quantum leap is justified or whether it is perhaps overly ambitious - but with seven episodes to go I’m left wondering whether its going to be worth the effort? 

Thursday, 9 October 2008

When the credits run on the forthcoming James Bond flick, Quantum of Solace, there'll be a disclaimer that no animals were hurt during production.You won't see this, having left by that point for the carpark, but it's always there.As you climb into what is almost certainly a far humbler form of transport than those you've just seen on the screen, you might wonder at the lack of a Royal Society for Protection of Cruelty to Automobiles.As can be seen from these exclusive images of the sequel to Casino Royale — the flick that rebooted and imbued the flaccid Bond franchise with balls — Automobile Rights protestors would be outraged.Evidently not content with establishing a Guiness Book record for achieving seven barrel roles in Casino Royale, seven of the sumptuous DBSs were variously brutalised for the chase sequence near curtain up on Quantum.This is set an hour after the closing shot of Casino in which Daniel Craig's Bond stands — silenced Heckler & Koch smoking in his hand — over the writhing form of Mr White, who he has kneecapped by way of introducing himself as “Bond, James Bond”.Stunt coordinator Gary Powell, the third generation of the legendary English clan who have taken the falls and rolled with the punches on every Bond flick since Dr No, has said he set out to top his Casino rollout.“We have stiffened the suspension and pushed the wheels out at an angle and used special tyres for each surface. We take all the traction control off the cars so when we want to do a big wheeslpin, the car will allow you to do it.“That way the stuntman controls the car rather than the car controlling the stuntmen. We have put in a hydraulic handbrake in the Aston Martins so the stuntman can skid the car round corners. It's fitted between the driver and the door so that it's easy to reach for without looking down.”Someone must have done so at some point, though, one Aston plunging contrary to direction into northern Italy's usually placcid and postcard perfect Lake Garda. In addition to the scripted carnage visited upon a clutch of Alfa Romeo 159s, another had an “accidental” accident.While Quantum of Solace's director is Marc Forster, it was Dan Bradley who spent two months with the second unit shooting the sequence near Garda — a favourite setting for European car makers with products to launch.“I love the bit where Bond loses the driver's door of the Aston Martin,” says Bradley, seemingly oblivious to the wails of auto eroticists.“Now it's like, every car that comes past him, every shot that is fired at him, the potential for Bond's (survival) withers. I love what it gives us in terms of storytelling and the threat to Bond.”With Bondophiles buzzing that the new film will see a return of the gadgetry that was notable by its absence in Casino, this is one refreshingly unsophisticated touch. Whereas Sean Connery's original 1964 Aston Martin DB5 was stuffed with then hi-tech optional extras including retractable machine guns, Craig fires his H&K at the pursuing Alfas through the gaping doorframe.If somehow we've forgotten that Bond is fiction, albeit boy's own stuff of the highest order, the last sentence is a salient reminder. Alfas harrying an Aston?While the Fiat group have not revealed what involvement in the franchise currently dominated by Ford and its subsidiary Premier Auto Group cost, the mere association as the villains ride of choice can hardly hurt flagging sales of the 159.Those in question are the 159Ti 3.2 JTS V6 Q4, the topline edition of the sedan which sells locally from $76,990, a snip compared to the $466,600 pricetag on the DBS. Actually, we'd recommend the visually almost identical 2.2 JTS from $54,990.And if you're looking for a still more affordable bit of Bondage, Ford's micro Ka is to make a cameo appearance, just as the current Mondeo was first seen by the world in Casino Royale.Of course, soon after being seen in this placed product, the then-new Bond actor acquires an example of the iconic DB5 in a card game, a symbol of Craig taking the 007 mantle.This and the bravado opening of Quantum remind us that for all the girls, guns and gratuitous quips, the car remains a central motif of this longest running movie franchise.Quantum of Solace is released in November. The new trailer can be seen at www.007.com/ 

The Australian version of Top Gear accelerates onto our screens on September 29 with a formula that echoes the British show, although the producers are stressing that it’s not a copy.Three men and a Stig, lots of cars, plenty of odd stunts, and other staple ingredients of the recipe are there.The trio of hosts includes News Ltd cartoonist, motoring columnist and historic car nut Warren Brown -- whose notoriously addled brainstorming was responsible for a group of 100-year-old vehicles retracing the route of the epic 1907 Peking to Paris trek – race driver and instructor Steve Pizzati, and radio presenter and Moto GP commentator Charlie Cox.The Cool Wall has been replaced in the Aussie show with a segment called `What Were They Thinking’, and there’s no indication yet of what music the local Stig will have playing while he’s on the track. The British one’s eclectic taste runs from language courses to Hammond organ recitals.The question was put to Australia’s version of the mystery driver during carsguide’s hot lap with him at the show’s launch at Camden airport, where filming has been under way for the past couple of months.No firm answer was forthcoming, but indications are that country icon Chad Morgan may get a run on the Stig’s stereo.Top Gear Australia is the first – but probably not the last – international version of what has become the world’s biggest motoring entertainment brand, being seen by 500 million in 120 countries.The show will screen on SBS for eight weeks, after which the British series will resume.

He has a master's touch with pen and ink — and now we'll find out how well Warren Brown handles cars, with News Limited cartoonist chosen to host the Australian version of Top Gear.Brown – whose artwork regularly appears in Sydney’s Daily Telegraph — will be joined on the petrol-scented show by Australian motoring commentators Charlie Cox and Steve Pizzati. The Aussie Top Gear top guns were chosen from more than 4000 applicants. A final group of 12 fought it out for the hosting role wheel to wheel at a Top Gear Australia camp.It's the first time the BBC has allowed a local version of its hit, which has been on and off air since the 1980s, but has globally boomed during the past five years.The UK series has been one of SBS's top-rating shows, with viewers following the antics of Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May.The show is as much about them as the cars they put through various tests and challenges and experiments, such as converting an everyday car into a stretch limousine.Brown promised the local version of the eight-episode, one-hour series would deliver the local flavour Australian car nuts have been starved of on television.“It will be very much in the spirit of the UK's Top Gear, but it will be very Australian and therefore very different,” he said.“Charlie and Steve are fantastic fun, really intelligent and know their stuff.“We don't want to clone the British guys and we will have a very Australian feel without us wearing broad-brimmed hats with corks hanging off them.“There has been an amazing amount of internet chatter about the Australian series and we promise we won't disappoint.”The show will feature road tests, challenges and comparisons between, say, a V8 Commodore and its BMW equivalent to see which stacks up best.Production company Freehand and Top Gear Australia executive producer Peter Abbott — the original Big Brother — said the series would entertain as much as inform.“We always remind ourselves that this is a show about cars but it is not a car show,” he said last night.“A lot of the show's UK appeal is that it's a comedy about three men and their banter, bond and friendships and the secret is their chemistry.“The cars are props for them to bounce off.“Charlie, Steve and Warren are men, but in their hearts they are big boys who like to play and wonder about the world and they share a great sense of exuberance and humour.”Top Gear Australia begins production next month and will air later in the year. It's about time — Australia has not had a regular prime-time motoring series since Torque ran for eight years from 1973.