Fun Stuff

...Adelaide's Harris Scarfe building down to the ground.

It’s all the action you could want from a paintball game – and far, far more. American action video expert Devin Graham and his camera offsiders, Jace Leroy and Chris McClain, capture all the mayhem as the Nitro Circus stunt drivers and a host of foot soldiers face off in an epic paintball battle. There’s a bit of support called in with an air strike from paraglider snipers and gore everywhere. Except of course the gore is green. But if it was red we’d have to put an ‘extreme violence’ warning on it. This is just extreme fun, with a touch of Apocalypse Pow (and splat). Or, as one of our astute colleagues tagged it, Mad Max meets Dulux. Graham started playing around with video in his teens, capturing his own snowboard stunts on camera. He went on to graduate in film from Brigham Young University in Utah. He still has a focus on shooting stunts, except that these days he stays behind the camera and trains it on everybody else -- often using friends but sometimes also sourcing subjects through Facebook for his scenes. His work manages to set a big scene, but still maintain a fine attention to detail. Each viewing of the paintball battle brings up some background action you missed the previous time around. We're still watching it, trying to find the address of that chute fan backpack. If you spot it, let us know at Carsguide.com.au.  

You can get away with almost anything in a good friendship, but everybody knows some things are just a deal-breaker. There are certain limits. A line that is never visible but that should never be crossed. Ever. “Eat my food, crap in my sink, ruin my laundry and interrupt my movie. But do not hurt my car.” It is the cry of every car lover since Og first invented the wheel. And it applies to spouses, kids -- or whoever dares to place their grubby fingers on the pride and joy of the carport. Those who choose to ignore the warning face being banished back to whatever strange universe they came from. So don’t touch my… err, Yaris?  

A whacky honey courier and a film version of the famed Beat Generation On the Road are the stars.The first revved up movie to grab some popcorn and put your feet up to is L. The movie is directed by Babis Makridis who doesn’t shy away from the weird and dark side of humour.The dry comedy follows a Greek 40-year-old driver called Man (played by Aris Servetalis). And just like most of us Man’s car is his life, Man even lives in it. In the day Man is a honey driver for a 50-year-old narcoleptic man. When Man loses his job he turns to a motorcycle gang for a sense of purpose...let’s just say a bit of blood follows. A sharp turn away from L is the spontaneous American road trip movie On the Road. Heard this plot before? Young Sal Paradise (Sam Riley), an aspiring New York writer, meets handsomely youthful ex-con Dean Moriarty and his wife the sexy/promiscuous Marylou (AKA Kristen Stewart from Twilight) and they embark on a road-trip to discover themselves.They drink, smoke weed, have sex and of course drive. The movie is an adaptation of Jack Kerouac’s acclaimed cult classic novel On the Road. Both movies importantly focus on cars, but we’ll be waiting on Margaret and David for final verdict. The Sydney Film Festival runs from the 6-17 June 2012. 

Star driver Lucas Ordonez is more used to the sunshine of Spain, but see how he gets to grips -- and loses grip -- in the Losna Isbane Ice Track in Lillehammer.Being billed as a 'baby Godzilla GT-R', the Juke-R is the first ever super crossover.It has grown from the first Micra-based concept developed by Nissan and built by motorsports outfit RML with input from Nissan Technology Centre for Europe .Under the bonnet is a406kW  3.8-litre twin-turbo V6 engine adopted directly from Nissan's flagship supercar, however the limited-edition production version gets the new GT-R running gear rather than the concept's MY10 version.

The Nuance Communications technology uses a Siri-like voice calibrated especially for cars. Nuance says it will allow drivers to use more natural language, rather than having to mimic the flat tones and formal grammar of the standard satnav.For example, instead of trying to slowly grind out “send---text---to---John---I---am---on---my---way---home---now” you can just tell the system “send a text to John… I’m on the way”. Of course, Dragon Drive! (yes, there’s an exclamation mark) will also read you incoming texts and emails.Nuance says the product is the first to market that seamlessly integrates with cloud-based in-car infotainment systems and the car’s onboard. The company is also behind the Dragon Naturally Speaking software that has been leading in voice-to-text dictation software for the past decade, and more recently with Dragon Go for mobile devices.The US-based company says Dragon Drive! Will be on the market overseas before the end of the year in overseas markets. So drivers will be able to go on happily chatting away with their hands more firmly on the wheel – although possibly with the minds no more firmly on the task. 

He’s used to battling against his F1 rivals, but Sebastian Vettel now tried his hands -- and feet -- at martial arts. And he doesn’t do too badly for a newcomer.In 'Kung Fu Vettel: Drive of the Dragon', Vettel impresses with his moves. The same sadly can’t be said about his acting skills. As a martial arts expert he makes a great racing driver.In the beginning Infiniti will bring three product ranges to Australia: the FX 50S SUV; the M sedans; and the G sedans that will follow in 2013. They will be joined by a luxury hatch and electric car based on the Nissan Leaf in 2015.

TomTom choose Wallace and Gromit to provide the latest voice for their satellite navigation. Or, at least Wallace. We all know that in the famed Aardman animations, Gromit doesn’t speak – he just looks worried at every move Wallace ever makes. So if Wallace’s directions lead you up a blind alley, you can imagine Gromit will be in the background, silently shaking his head in quiet despair. We’d like to imagine TomTom approached the wise and inventive Gromit first, but were probably hampered by his lack of voice and so had to settle for his hapless human sidekick. On the other hand, having had to put up with the nasal computerised tones of most satnav voices, we reckon we’d prefer Gromit. It probably takes a brave person – or dedicated fan – to trust Wallace for advice or directions. But if you’re after an interesting car trip that will entertain the kids, Wallace is your man. Be warned, Wallace tends to waffle on, but he’s far from boring. And since avoiding boredom is the main target when the bubs are in the car – especially since research show Aussie kids are the world’s most bored – who cares where you end up, as long as the back seat is happy. Wallace will join TomTom’s team of other celebrity voices, including Homer Simpson, Bugs Bunny and Pepe le Pew.  

Opinion was divided about the authenticity of the Mercedes-Benz SLS AMG Gullwing’s alleged 380-degree tunnel-flip video that went viral in 2010. But we’re pretty sure about this one, performed by the ... err, Fahrradi Farfalla FFX. The creators of the Fahrradi Farfalla FFX, MT Racing, are clearly but affectionately taking a swipe at both the Mercedes-Benz tunnel flip and everything Ferrari has ever done. It’s not just how accurately they’ve channelled Ferrari design for their ‘car’ – which is really a four-wheel bicycle under that beautiful body. It’s the precision with which they spoof the overblown spin and manufactured gravitas of most supercar marketing porn. Some people will remember their Ferdinand GT3 RS – the tape-bodied pedal-powered construction MT Racing billed as the world’s slowest Porsche. And the Fahrradi (from the German word for bicycle) takes that several steps further, adding in a Burt Reynolds daredevil driver for the tunnel stunt, to a soundtrack of somebody making V12 vroom-vroom noises. The Fahrradi Farfalla FFX – created by Austrian artist Johannes Langeder -- is being exhibited at the Lentos Gallery in Linz, Austria. A somewhat convoluted artists’ statement on the car describes it as “a kind of clairvoyant anticipation of a vehicle that is not yet even on the market”. Not so far removed from most motor show concepts, then.  

Only your truly resourceful hillbilly could come up with something this brilliant.  Faced with a two-man saw and no mates to swing on the other end, here’s a quick-fix answer.  It’s called the one-man-two-man saw and it’s a gem. Who said hillbillies were lazy no-hopers?