Top 10 weird uses for GPS

These days it's being used to keep track of just about anything that moves. And that could include you. Here are our top picks for innovative use, ranging from ridiculous to, frankly, a bit disturbing.

DRIVERLESS VEHICLES

Google’s driverless car might have seemed like a publicity stunt, but autonomous vehicles are already on the way.

At the recent Michelin Challenge Bibendum in Berlin, French firm Ligier showcased its Vipa – a driver-free electric vehicle with room for six passengers.

On sale in Europe this year, the robot car uses cameras and GPS to map a route (including waypoints) and once that’s done can drive along it unmanned at speeds up to about 20km/h, then return to base and recharge.

The Ligier engineer who took journalists for a ‘look ma no hands’ trip around the fairly complex Challenge Bibendum test track told us the vehicle was initially destined for controlled areas such as airports, carparks and shopping centres, and could be linked in a multiples to form a hands-free convoy.

BABY JESUS

He's always with you - if you make sure he's got an embedded GPS chip. Apparently the Christmas holiday nativity-nicking fad has sparked the marketing of trackable mangers. And for all those gnomes looking forward to their next round-the-world holiday (complete with ransom snaps sent home by your kidnappers) . sorry, you're next for the chip.

CONDOM FINDER

An iPhone GPS app will navigate you to the nearest free condom supply - among the 3000 listed - in New York. It also provides details of how to use them. Although if you're devoting this much effort to finding condoms, we think you probably don't need further instructions.

FOOTBALLERS

Well, it had to come to this, didn't it? Brit soccer club Arsenal is using GPS to monitor its players on and off the field. If one says he's going home, the club can track him by computer. It's an idea that could interest Australian football codes - and probably the hotels they frequent.

SHOPPING TROLLEYS

The psychologists who design shopping aisles to trap and tempt you will be outraged to hear the next generation of trolleys will be able to direct you straight to the items you want. No more heading out for bread and coming back with bath towels, beer and a kilo of bacon. Future trolleys will become so sophisticated they'll even navigate you through a Westfield shopping centre.

SCHOOL UNIFORMS

Yet another bid to keep tabs on the kids, a UK clothing maker is embedding GPS trackers into school uniforms. Parents are more likely to discover the uniform spends the day rolled up in a railway station locker after being ditched in favour of the latest fashion code for truancy.

ART

Size matters in the art world, it seems. The method du jour is travelling with a GPS and sketching out a drawing over a large area. While the route is meticulously planned, the results are far from the elegant linework of giant prehistoric art - the White Horse for example - and more like preschooler doodling.

DOG TRACKING

Nothing to do with the hallowed form of racing commonly known as 'the dishlickers'. This is about trying to work out where Fido has escaped to. Devices range from expensive hunting products that include a camera and compass to cheaper domestic versions that simply let you know what in direction your unfaithful companion has headed. The device can save hours of wandering around the neighbourhood. We know.

SHOES

Footwear makers GTXC have launched GPS shoes that can not only track where the wearer has been, but set perimeters and give a mobile phone alert if the shoes cross the line. Parents are probably already asking about an option to remotely administer an electric shock if the shoes trespass.

GOLF BALLS

This is such a pressing need, we're astonished it wasn't the prompt to invent GPs in the first place. It's being touted for its ability to monitor the trajectory, distance, angle and speed of your drive. We'll be using it find the ball after every stroke.

USB TRACKER

This disturbing little object can be placed in somebody's car or pocket, and then when later plugged into a computer will report where they've been. Available all over the internet, and coming soon to a suspicious spouse near you.