Sorry, but Tesla has stolen Toyota's crown as the world's most boring car company | Opinion

For the longest time, I would have sworn black and blue that auto giant Toyota was the world’s most boring car company. I’d have argued that success and near-guaranteed sales had made it lazy and risk-averse, and that its fleet was dominated by safe, boring choices.

That’s long changed, of course. The out-the-blue move into ferocious performance cars through the GR brand, a company-wide push to produce “no more boring cars”, and even the unprecedented localisation of the Tundra, has all had a revolutionary impact on Toyota (though, you could argue, not on the HiLux, or at least not yet).

Happily, there’s a new company ready to step up and take the crown. And that company is, a little surprisingly, Tesla.

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I know, I know — how could a fast-moving EV company be the most boring? Because, as it has proven again and again, it’s not actually that fast-moving, and — in the face of its fearlessly innovative (albeit sometimes to their detriment) Chinese rivals — more than a little bit dull.

And don’t sell me on the promises, broken as they always are. Talking about exciting things does not an exciting company make, and for all the promises of Roadsters and Model 2s, all we’ve seen lately is a Tesla Model 3, a Tesla Model Y, and then — years later — a refreshed version of both of them.

The Model X was at least interesting, but it’s a goner, and the Tesla Cybertruck doesn’t appear any closer to our shores, either. And the cheaper Teslas we’ve been promised? They're increasingly looking like stripped-down versions of the cars we’ve already got.

Part of the problem, I suspect, is that company head Elon Musk doesn’t seem all that interested in cars anymore. Or, at least, not interested in cars we can actually drive.

All the recent talk is about installing creepy humanoid robots in our homes, or the potential of the brand’s fully autonomous Cybercab program – neither of which are likely to stir the blood of any motoring types.

I’d be very happy to be proven wrong on this, by the way. And Tesla has surprised before. They are the only company that was able to do what was then considered impossible — make EVs desirable and cool. And you could argue that it has single-handedly rekindled the world’s love affair with the sedan, through the Model 3.

But this more-of-the-same approach won’t cut it, not in the fact of fast-moving competition. So come on, Tesla. It’s time to turn all those promises into reality.