What's the difference?
Yes, you can drive your Bentley and keep your family. It's called compromise, or the Bentayga, Bentley's SUV.
The Bentayga my family has been living with is the Azure grade which promises to be even more comfortable and pleasant than the rest of the range.
Comfort is important and we'll cover the Bentayga's lavish details in time, but our mission first and foremost is to find out if the Bentayga makes a good family SUV.
Tesla’s Cybertruck truly is a giant wedge of cutting-edge technology, and not only because its edges are so sharp you could literally cut yourself, or chop kindling, with them.
No vehicle, nor indeed even any of his stupid ideas, so perfectly represents the manic mania, the whooping, wanton wackiness of Elon Musk as this comically angular, sharp-edged savager of pedestrians.
And yet people, and American people in particular as we discovered on a trip to Los Angeles to drive one, love the Cybertruck. Tesla is said to be holding as many as 2 million pre-orders for it in North America alone and many Australians have expressed interest in buying one, when the company finally manages to build it in right-hand drive, and get it on sale down here, almost regardless of the price (spoiler alert: it’s going to be a lot).
I’ve seen a lot of strange and wildly ugly cars over the years, but if you parked the Cybertruck next to all of them, they’d just disappear because you really can’t take your eyes off its pointy, almost dangerous looking lines. It’s like a human tried to engineer an echidna on wheels.
It does make me laugh, though, and so it was with a smile on my face and acid dripping from my pen that I arrived at a giant Tesla delivery centre in LA to drive it. Come with me.
The Bentley Bentayga Azure may look a bit awkward and it surely isn't great value for money, but it is a true Bentley and a very good family SUV that not only provides terrific practicality but superb performance and comfort.
Weird, wild, unnecessary, arguably horrific to look at, or at least challenging, too fast, too silly, the Cybertruck is many things, but all of the bad things are obvious from a distance while you only realise just how impressive, clever and intense it is once you take it for a drive.
The drive-by-wire steering alone is a revolutionary bit of tech that will surely bleed into the wider world.
Overall I thought I would hate it, but I walked away, head still shaking, with grudging respect approaching admiration for the Tesla Cybertruck.
You'd think of all automotive brands Bentley, with its beautiful swooping and powerful saloons, would be able to floor us with something just exquisite in SUV form. But right from the 2012 concept the Bentayga has struggled to stun the world with its design.
So, while there are Bentley family traits all over the Bentayga, from the intricate headlights and mesh grille, to the oval tail-lights and body which squats over the rear wheels, the overall design looks awkward to my eyes.
To me it appears the boxy design with the tall, flat roofline and elevated ride height favours practicality over the sleekness possessed by a lower, more coupe-like SUV.
I favour dark coloured clothes because it hides my shapes, creases and bulges, but these are the things you want to see in a car and our Bentley's 'Onyx Black' paint, despite being a beautiful colour with a blue hue added, make it a featureless blob in the sunlight.
A lighter shade or something outlandish like a turquoise or yellow would look amazing, and even better, upset your neighbours.
Let's look at the interior design which is lavish with all the quilted leather and Mulliner customisation, but lacks the modern look of many contemporary cabins with its smallish media screen and busy mosaic of buttons.
I like the little chrome plungers for the air vents, the winged styling to the dashboard and the stitched leather upholstery, but it's easy to spot parts that are shared by other members of the Volkswagen Group (which owns Bentley).
For example, there are the indicator and wiper stalks, as well as the steering wheel buttons, all from Audi. Surely Bentley should have its own crafted parts?
The interior colour scheme on our Bentayga is 'Beluga' (black) and 'Camel' (tan) and the Mulliner option split the colours with a cream tone.
From a family perspective the tan and black will hide dirt, although the cream will struggle. It's possibly the best leather on the planet, however, coming from cattle living high enough that their hides are unblemished by insect stings.
Is there anything interesting about a Narwhal, or a rhinoceros? It’s hard to know whether to give the Tesla Cybertruck 10 out of 10 for how interesting its design is, or zero for how offensive it is, but it would certainly get a solid 20 out of 10 for uniqueness.
Sure, in pictures it looks pretty out there, but when you stand before it in all its shiny steel it makes you laugh out loud, to the point where it has taken your breath away.
And then you start to notice all the fingerprints on it. Every time you - or any of its many admirers - touches it, you get nasty, oily stains and keeping it clean would make looking after a car painted in a matte finish look as easy as sleeping.
So, stainless steel as a choice for constructing a car? Perhaps there’s a reason no one else has ever followed the DeLorean’s lead here, but there’s no denying it grabs your eye, and provides a certain solidity to the whole structure.
Much like a Frank Gehry building, you’re either going to love the Cybertruck and think it a work of modern art, or dismiss it as a childish man’s fantasy made real (essentially that was the design brief for this vehicle, “make Elon a toy”, and it has nailed that brief), but either way you’ll definitely have strong feelings about it.
A car, or even a pick-up truck, with no round surfaces, nor subtlety of any kind, can’t really be described as beautiful in any way. But interesting? Definitely.
Being shaped like a bus does nothing for the Bentayga's beauty but makes it spacious for cargo and roomy for people.
With its large doors and elevated ride height (the car can be lowered for easier access) it's great for families.
Our Bentayga is a five-seater, which is fine for my little family of four, but there are four- and seven-seat configurations available, too.
Second row legroom is exceptional, even for me at 189cm tall, and sitting behind my own driving position there's still plenty of room.
Headroom is also outstanding throughout. We could be a family that loves top hats, on our way to the top hat championships, and not have to remove our top hats. That's how good headroom and hat room is.
Sun blinds in the second row are vital in Australia, and the electric ones in the Bentayga raise and lower quickly, not just offering protection but also more privacy.
Storage is good throughout with big door pockets and five cupholders.
It seems the cabin space eats into the cargo area because the boot isn't overly large at 484 litres with all seats in place.
Buttons in the cargo area allow the rear of the car to be raised and lowered to make it easier to hoist items in the boot.
For devices there's a wireless phone charger up front along with USB ports in both rows.
While the front and rear seats feel plenty spacious, that odd peaked baseball cap roof is a bit challenging in terms of headroom, and I smashed my noggin into it a few times trying to reach into the back seat for more Oreos and Mountain Dew.
You can pop up the bench seat in the back to create even more space for storage, or to provide a flat floor to sleep on.
You can also lie an American sized pizza box on the vast swathe of dash between you and the wildly angled windscreen, there’s plenty more storage on the floor between you and the passenger and then more storage bins at your hip, as well. A wireless phone charger sits twinned with the spot where you park your Tesla card key.
It’s a practical, semi-rugged feeling space, but with the usual kind of Tesla less is more feeling, except when it comes to the screen, which is stupidly large and requires far too much input when you’re driving to be safe. And there’s still no speedometer where you need one, in front of your eyes, and no head-up display, despite Tesla’s love of other jet-fighter tech, like drive-by-wire steering.
Reviewing every type of car on the market provides a pretty good perspective, but when it comes to Bentleys we enter a realm where value-for-money often isn't as crucial as it is for more mainstream options.
The same goes for the price. Bentleys are among the most expensive cars in the world. So if, like me, you flinch at the thought of paying more than half a million dollars for an SUV, it may not be the car for us right now.
With that I can tell you the Bentley Bentayga Azure's list price is $475,000 and our car with all of its options comes to $515,000.
That's more money than any SUV from Mercedes-Benz and BMW costs. Even Range Rover can't quite reach that mark.
Only the likes of Aston Martin's DBX 707 and Lamborghini's Urus can match the price.
There are always bigger fish, though, and Rolls Royce's Cullinan swims in at $700,000, making the Bentayga's price seem quite reasonable.
Let's look at the standard features.
Coming standard on the Bentayga Azure are the prettiest LED headlights in the world. There are LED tail-lights, too, as well as a proximity key, roof rails and a panoramic glass roof, plus a hands-free tailgate.
Inside there's the 10.9-inch media screen, sat nav, wireless Apple CarPlay and wireless Android Auto.
The diamond quilting to the door trims is also standard and so are the Bentley sports pedals.
Many of these features are standard on lower grades in the Bentayga range, but the point in choosing the Azure is that many of the optional bundles on offer are fitted as standard here.
So, while leather upholstery is of course standard the 'Colour Specification' package gives you a choice of all interior colour combinations and an extended choice of hide colours.
The 'City Specification' brings extra safety tech like rear cross-traffic alert and a top view camera.
The 'Front Seat Comfort' specification adds 20-way power front seats, ventilation and massage as well as comfort headrests.
The 'Touring Specification' brings adaptive cruise control, a head up display, lane keeping assistance and 'Night Vision'.
And then the 'Sunshine Package' adds electric sun blinds, which are great for kids in the back.
Despite the multitude of standard packages there's plenty left to option on the Azure.
Our car was fitted with about a dozen options including piano black veneer ($5884), 22-inch alloy wheels ($4733), rear privacy glass ($2617), LED welcome lights ($2238), self-levelling wheel centre caps ($1208), a heated acoustic windscreen ($1094), luggage management for the boot ($937) and a heated steering wheel ($543).
Then there's Mulliner, Bentley's in-house customisation division which will personalise your Bentley.
The Mulliner custom features on our Bentayga Azure include the addition of an extra colour in the leather upholstery ($13,492), 'Honeycomb' stitching on the steering wheel ($5391) and contrasting stitching on the quilted areas of leather trim ($2688).
Best family features would have to be the privacy glass, temperature control in the second row and the rear sun blinds.
The second row also comes with a removable tablet which can be used to adjust the climate control, sunroof and media settings among other functions.
In the hands of children this is every parent's nightmare and there's a 100 percent chance of the tablet being lost forever, possibly on the motorway between Sydney and Canberra.
How does one define value when it comes to the vehicular equivalent of a cockroach, one that seems capable of surviving the apocalypse with it indestructible (but possibly slightly rusty in appearance) stainless-steel exterior, HEPA filters (will protect you from pollution, pollen and “industrial fallout”) and (almost, kind of) bowling-ball proof super-strong windows (it can allegedly survive the impact of a baseball at 112km/h - handy if someone is trying to kill you with a baseball)?
And what price can you put on the kind of attention driving a Cybertruck gets you? Perhaps only a Bugatti or a Pagani could match the level of wide-eyed, slack-jawed excitement you see from other people when you drive this thing around.
Then there’s the fact that it accelerates like an actual rocket, is allegedly so cosseted in the cabin that it’s “as quiet as outer space” (this is a comparison test I am up for, if Elon’s Space X would like to arrange it), and can tow “an average African elephant”, or 4,990kg, and has a 1134kg capacity in that vast rear tray, covered by a standard, automatic tonneau cover that’s so tough you can stand on it.
In that rear tray you’ll find a bottle opener, and some storage tubs with drainage holes to keep your beer cold or your fish frozen. You could sleep in there, on the composite bed, which is tough you don’t need a liner, but why would you when you can sleep in the truck - the dash is so large you could comfortably lie under the windscreen to sun yourself - using 'Sleep Mode', which runs the air con all night from its giant battery to keep it at your set temperature.
Speaking of your battery, you can also charge things with it using the integrated power outlets, and that includes the ability to charge another Tesla, or to re-zap your Tesla Powerwall at home and run your house during a blackout. Or the Apocalypse.
Tesla has put a price on all this, of course, and in America it ranges from US$81,895 to US$101,985. Frankly, that seems like quite good value when you add it all up, or at least it would if the Cybertruck really could tow five tonnes further than the end of the street, and if range - surely something of an issue for an outdoorsy vehicle like this - really could be guaranteed at 547km.
If and when it gets to Australia, of course, its value will need to be reassessed on what is sure to be a much, much larger number.
When Bentley stopped putting its W12 into the Bentayga this year I was unsurprised yet sad. The world is moving toward tighter fuel emissions but the twin-turbo petrol V8 in this Azure is still a beast.
The 4.0-litre turbo-petrol V8 is from the Audi family and I love it as much for its plentiful torque and superb acceleration as the deep rumble of its exhaust.
Making 404kW and 770Nm the V8 can lift and throw the 2.5-tonne Bentayga to 100km/h from a standstill in 4.5 seconds and onto a top speed of 290km/h. I reckon you could get it to 300km/h with the wind behind you.
Drive goes to all four wheels via an eight-speed transmission and a Torsen-type centre differential.
Default drive balance is 40/60 front to rear, with up to 70 per cent of power able to be sent to the front wheels and up to 85 per cent to the rear axle.
I don't think you'll be astounded to hear this powertrain uses a lot of fuel? Let's go there...
Yes, I’m giving it 10. Because how could you want for more than a torque figure of 13959Nm, and a Ferrari-humbling 630kW of power to boot?
The Cybertruck is the perfect example of Elon Musk’s approach to what we’ll call science, or Twitter, or X. If it can be done, just do it, don’t ask whether it’s a good idea, or batshit insane.
So because he could fit a vast 123kWh battery and two crazy powerful motors to this pick up monster, and that could provide enough grunt to send three tonnes of mass to 100km/h in 2.8 seconds, they did.
Is it wise? Probably not. Is it wild and almost, somehow, strangely admirable? Yep.
Bentley says the Bentayga Azure with the V8 petrol engine will use an average of 11.4L/100km over a combination of open and urban roads.
But what happens if you live in the suburbs not far from the city and drive the Azure every day to do the school drop offs and trips to the shops and then take in some fun country roads? You use an average of 22.8L/100km according to the car's trip computer.
This is still not as high as I was expecting. I've driven V6-powered SUVs which use more than this under the same conditions.
That said, even when using as much fuel as Bentley says you should, an 85-litre fuel tank is only going to deliver an approximate 745km driving range.
Tesla claims a range of 547km between charges and that even when towing something of “reasonable size” (a smaller Tesla perhaps) it will still get 400km. I, for one, very much doubt that.
Tesla also claims you can recover up to 235km of range with just 15 minutes of Tesla Supercharging, while a charge from 10 to 80 per cent on that same Supercharger would take 44 minutes. On a 110V American plug it would take 110 hours, or 4.5 days, to fully charge from zero to 100 per cent.
The Bentley Bentayga doesn't have a safety rating as like many extremely high-end cars it hasn't been assessed by ANCAP or Euro NCAP.
That said, the Azure grade comes standard with an armoury of safety tech including AEB (with turn assistance), lane keeping assistance, blind-spot warning, rear cross-traffic alert, evasive steering assistance, and adaptive cruise control.
Front and rear parking sensors are standard (and the most relied-upon feature I use daily), while exit warning saved my child and myself more than a few times from leaping out into the traffic on the school run.
Some unkind experts have referred to the Cybertruck as a “death machine” and a “guideless missile”, pointing out that putting a stainless steel body on top of a big old battery is inherently problematic. As is the lack of crumple zones.
Making all this very pointy metal move as fast as a McLaren supercar has also raised some questions about sanity.
Then there was the recent recall of every Cybertruck built so far:
"Cybertruck owners reported that their vehicles were at risk of getting stuck driving at full speed due to a loose accelerator pedal. Video showed the pedal itself falling off and the piece beneath wedging itself into the car’s interior, which would force the vehicle into maximum acceleration. One driver was able to save himself from a crash by holding down the brake pedal."
Elon Musk, has claimed, however, that the Cybertruck, is “much safer per mile” than its competitors.
Australia has different pedestrian safety regulations to the US and while some have posited that the Cybertruck will pass, pointing to the fact that you can buy an even bigger Ram truck here, others are not so sure.
The Tesla Cybertruck does have six airbags, and a suite of active safety features as part of its 'Autopilot' system, but it does not yet have 'Full Self Driving'.