Maserati growl a turn-on

Clinical research conducted by insurance firm Hiscox UK has revealed – according to the researchers — that “100 per cent of woman tested are sexually aroused by the sound of a Maserati, with the roar of the Italian legend’s V8 engine producing a primal, sexual response.”

Frankly, the looks of the Maserati Gran Turismo are enough to get Driven Troppo trembling, without anybody having to be bothered with the effort of turning the key. Which means by the time you’re stomping the accelerator I’ll be slipping into something lacy and making plans for breakfast a deux. Just me and the car.

Mmmmm….

Ooops, where we were? Oh that’s right, the research. Which was conducted with rigorous scientific methodology

The human rats in this particular libido laboratory were exposed to a recording of a selection of high-end engines being revved up.

Their ears were titillated with the roar of the Maserati, a Lamborghini and a Ferrari. And just as a control sample, they were also subjected to the sound of an everyday Volkswagen Polo, to ensure a fair comparison of arousal.

After 20 minutes of ear foreplay, their sexual response was measured by the levels of the hormone, testosterone, in their saliva, which is apparently an indication of arousal.

David Moxon, the psychologist who conducted the study said: “We saw significant peaks in the amount of testosterone in the body, particularly in women. Testosterone is indicative of positive arousal in the human body so we can confidently conclude from the results out today that the roar of a luxury car engine actually does cause a primeval physiological response.”

And while 100 per cent of the women showed a “significant increase” in testosterone secretion with the sound of a Maserati, they all also showed a similar decrease in testosterone when confronted with the little VW. Which puts paid to any misconception that what women want in a car is a user-friendly little shopping trolley.

But oddly, the research also revealed that only 50 per cent of men reacted sexually to the Maserati growl.

Which probably backs up the old saying that men fall in love through their eyes, and women fall in love through their ears.

So while it used the Polo as a control test, perhaps the study might have done better to examine women’s sexual response to other aural stimuli. The rustle of tissue paper being lifted off a perfectly boxed pair of killer heels. The quiet snick as the clasp of a diamond necklace closes on your skin. The phrase “you relax, darling … I’ll do the washing up”.