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8 December 2017

This Indian 'Pimp My Ride' show is just as bad as you'd think it'd be

By James LisleJames Lisle

Not to say that the American version of 'Pimp My Ride' is the pinnacle of automotive cinema either - it isn't. It's actually spine snappingly cringy - but this Indian adaptation just lowers the bar. So, so far down. Somehow.

While India is home to a whole heap of terrible cars, like the fantastically dangerous 'auto rickshaw', the Tata Nano, and Mahindra 'range', it's also home to some of the greatest.

No really, as a brief procrastination on YouTube will show you, Indian ingenuity often has no limits whatsoever. Not only are there some pretty convincing replicas going around these days, like a Mercedes-Benz G-Class, Ferrari F430, and even a Lamborghini Sesto Elemento stupido pronounicio, but there's also some pretty neat original designs, too. 

But no matter how creative some people will be, it's always the ones with the rubbish taste that stick out like a sore thumb.

There are no other episodes of "India's first Car Modifcation Show", as this was just a test pilot. Thank god. There are no other episodes of "India's first Car Modifcation Show", as this was just a test pilot. Thank god.

Ignoring the terrible music, annoying flashy cuts, potato-like video quality, and over exaggerated camera angles, the 'Pimp My Ride' inspired car show not only trashes a relatively decent Suzuki Baleno - the pinnacle of '90s Japanese technology and engineering, if you ask me - but somehow manages to do it in such piss-poor taste it almost mocks the culture of car customisation.

  • Fun fact: India kept on building the Suzuki Baleno all the way up to 2007. (image credit: YouTube) Fun fact: India kept on building the Suzuki Baleno all the way up to 2007. (image credit: YouTube)
  • I believe the Americans use the term 'riced'. (image credit: YouTube) I believe the Americans use the term 'riced'. (image credit: YouTube)

Scissor doors, check. Needlessly obnoxious aftermarket tacho, check. Red bonnet, check.

In order for all of the exterior mods to take place, the car was stripped and primed for a fresh layer of paint before having a diverse suite of brand logo and graphical stickers stuck on top. All in good taste, too. That sweet early-2000's 'Need For Speed Underground 2' with super cringy 'Broseph' dialogue taste.

Not only are there plenty of visual 'upgrades', but there are also a whole heap of performance related mods too - all of which are totally genuine.

It's just a free-spinning fan that isn't connected to anything. Not that it'd do something if it was. It's just a free-spinning fan that isn't connected to anything. Not that it'd do something if it was.

There's a tiny free-spinning fan in the air intake (possibly masquerading as an eBay supercharger) for "sucking air into the engine", and sticky go-fast tyres from a seemingly random brand in order to keep "such a high-performance machine on the road". Not only that, but the main host mentions that they're also "special rotational tyres". Whatever the hell that means.

But the best part, however, is when the little Baleno is shown off to its owner, Aman.

*Internal screaming intensifies* *Internal screaming intensifies*

While we don't want to speak on behalf of the poor bloke, it's safe to say that his actions aren't synonymous with the notion of 'barely contained enthusiasm', that the show was probably hoping for.

Think it might get featured in the next Fast and Furious movie? Think it might get featured in the next Fast and Furious movie?

But hey, it's not best to laugh. After all, one man's trash is another man's exquisitely crafted Suzuki Baleno treasure.

What do you think of the modifications? Do you have a mate who has a worse taste in cars? Tag him below and tell us what you think in the comments below.