Now, we all need to keep at least a vague idea of what day it is — and towards the end of the week, our office is living proof of just how challenging that can be. But trawling the calendar shelves rarely results in a tasty purchase, at least for women. While men are simple creatures that can obviously be contented with shots of either 12 post-pubescent models or cars with similarly pneumatic bumps, women are little more discerning.
However the offerings are so grim you’re left trying to weigh which is the lesser evil — the nauseatingly fluffy kitten calendar, or the human-rights abusing one with infants crammed into earthenware pots.
Why are there no calendars with each month featuring a statement by Manolo Blahnik, Jimmy Choo or even Tiffany and Paspaley?
But this year, girls, we get a slightly better look-in with the appearance of a collection of images shot by none other than Karl Lagerfeld.
The legendary designer — who has put his stamp on the ateliers of Chloe, Fendi and Chanel — has produced a photographic paean to Audi’s new exotic supercar, the R8.
Using mirrors and reflectors, Lagerfeld has created a kaleidoscopic view of the car, focussing on particular details and emphasising their design aspects through the repetition of angles — in some frames reminiscent of the Cubist and Futurists artists of the early 20th century.
None of the images really shows the car in its totality (which is a shame, because it’s mouth-wateringly gorgeous). So apart from lovers of monochrome photography, what’s in it for the girls?
Well, starring with the R8 in the photos is top American make model, Brad Kroenig. And Lagerfeld has been snapping this chisel-jawed hunk for five years — for a long-term study called `One Man Shown’ — so you can assume that by now he should be getting it right.
The bad news is that the Audi calendar is not destined for sale to the grubby proletariat. But you can buy one, if you have the asking price of at least $260,000.
The good news is that you get a free R8 with every calendar sold.
And that might be as close as you’ll get to seeing the car for a while. Australia is getting only 28 this year, and 80 next year, so we’re unlikely to have one decorating every street for a while.
Curiously, Lagerfeld hasn’t driven the R8 — or any other car, for that matter. Although he owns three Hummers, he doesn’t drive.
And he doesn’t see any anomaly in photographing a car as a non-driver.
“I do the entire campaign for Dom Perignon, and I don’t drink,” he has reportedly said.