Kia Aero Soul you could fool us

Those who used to laugh all the way to the bank are now sobbing over a plummeting bottom line.

But the crop of April Fools Day spoofs still doing the rounds showed that there’s a sense of humour – and a sense of the absurd – out there.

One of our favourites, tying in with the Australian launch of Kia’s Soul crossover vehicle, was their announcement of the Aero-Soul concept “that reduces fuel consumption and exhaust emissions with a simple and low-cost system called Air Propulsion and Retardation Installation Line.”

The system uses sensors to measure wind speed and deploy panels when it is sufficient to harvest the breeze to help push the car along.

Strong hints about what was behind the press release could be found in the system’s A.P.R.I.L. acronym, and also the comments from Kia “Systems Manager Avril Babo” (April Fool).

But anybody keeping an eye on the recent Kia styling coming from the pen of design guru Peter Schreyer – who did the iconic Audi TT – would be a bit suspicious about those appendages on the Aero-Soul. We just couldn’t see Schreyer allowing that kind of ugliness.

As you’d expect, Brit show Top Gear had a punt as well, announcing that the next series would focus on bicycles, and quoting host Jeremy Clarkson as saying – with an element of truth — “my contempt for human-powered transport has been well-known for a long time, but you have to face facts: the car industry is on its knees, Peak Oil is just around the corner and I'm not getting any younger. Frankly, it's pretty pathetic when a male-menopausal baby-boomer tries to pretend that he's still a boy racer.”

Richard Hammond – lover of high-tech German cars – enthused about carbon frames and 14-speed hub gears. Traditionalist James May said he’d ordered a penny-farthing. But promised he wouldn’t grow a beard or wear sandals.

A BMW press release promised a Magnetic Tow system jointly developed with NASA. A sneaky unit discreetly mounted on the front of your BMW projects an enhanced magnetic beam 20 ahead, finds a target car and locks on behind it. “The driver is then able to take his foot off the accelerator, turn off the engine and let the car in front do all the work. The towing car will not notice any change in manoeuvrability” the release says.

Hyundai trumpeted a new version of the little i10, targeted at “the booming market among world and religious leaders” who are concerned about both security and the environment. It features interior fabrics woven by monks, an Armour Protected Roof Integrated Lining (A.P.R.I.L) and a five-year warranty that is transferable in the case of lost elections or military coups. “The first demonstrator is due to be trialled by a German customer who currently resides in Italy.”

In a similar religious theme, a clever jokester on NZV8.com announced that Chrysler has been bought by the Catholic church. “It will take control of the failed automaker on April 10 and hopes to resurrect it over the following four days. The new company will be called Christler. Employees ratified the change en mass.”

Autoline Daily had Exxon promising to bail out GM, including paying off all the struggling giant’s debts – as long as GM agrees to cancel plans to put its electric Chevrolet Volt on the market.

Their news bulletin also had and an environmental organisation buying the Hummer brand and planning to developing a version fuelled by bat guano.

And frankly, we’d like to see that.