These cars are the worst | Opinion

Recently one of my colleagues wrote an opinion piece praising the virtues of convertibles and sadly made the observation that affordable new ones have now become extremely rare. I’d like to set the record straight and clarify my own position on cars without a roof — they’re terrible in every way.

Is an explanation even needed as to why convertibles are the worst idea since asbestos?

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And that’s the other thing — the Australian heat. A summer in a car with a tent for a roof would be my least favourite place to be, and that’s out of every single place on the planet to be. 

Put the roof down? Seriously? On a 40C day? Not unless you want to be a baked potato by the end of the journey.

Oh, but it’s fun to let the outside in while you drive? No, it’s not. Have you been outside? And sitting in traffic with pollution swirling around your head sounds wonderful. Why would you want nothing between you and the exhaust pipe of a Ford Ranger? Or nothing between you and the driver of a Ford Ranger? 

Or any other driver, because if there’s one road rule every motorist abides by its the dislike for that doofus in the traffic enjoying life in their convertible with the top down while everybody else is just trying to make it to where they’re going on time.

I know I’ve been that doofus until somebody flicked their cigarette at me from the cab of a truck. Never again.

The profile of a good looking sportscar is also completely ruined by a soft top. And those that have any other colour fabric than black look odd.

I do have to say there are some cars that look good as convertibles. The Mazda MX-5 does. The Alfa Romeo 4C does. But almost no BMW does, nor Mercedes-Benz, the Boxster just looks like a broken Cayman, and the Mustang convertible is a sin because the Fastback version is so gloriously beautiful. 

MG has its new electric Cyberster, which is not only a roadster but also has scissor doors but we all know it's really a project to draw attention to the brand, which has worked.

And I guess that’s the other cringey element to convertibles and that’s the shameless attention seeking side to them.

You don’t need any more reasons not to buy a convertible, but there are plenty more.

Convertibles don’t drive as well as cars with proper roofs. It’s true. The roof of a car is a fundamental part of its structural integrity. Convertibles get what’s called scuttle shake — a vibration that wobbles the vehicle. The way manufacturers attempt to combat this situation is by reinforcing the lower part of the car, which adds weight and affects performance again. 

Fortunately most sports cars aren’t convertibles, but unfortunately most convertibles are sports cars.

Look I could go on forever about why convertibles are just inferior versions of the roof model, but I think the most ridiculous fact is that they are more expensive. Yes, the convertible always costs more than the version with a roof. Take the 2025 Mustang GT for example — the hardtop costs $83,990 and the convertible $92,667. Almost ten grand more. You’re paying more for less car.

I feel like I’ve been pretty hard on convertibles. Historically they’re important both in motorsport and road cars. And I have to say there have been summer nights when the temperature has cooled down and I’ve driven a convertible and it’s been quite nice…

The best thing though about a convertible, especially for somebody my height, is a car with no roof is very easy to get out of … and then walking far, far away from it