Tips for teaching your kids how to drive

My cousin taught me to drive when I was 12. In a gnarly beast of a 4WD that had survived the odd tussle with a cow or three. At two years older, he was an accomplished hand, and shared his knowledge in liberal fashion as we trundled around my grandparents’ farm.

With feet that could just about reach the clutch pedal, my progress for the first few kilometres was lurching at best, but once I got the hang of it and how the steering mounted gear lever worked, it was happy days.

My father, to his credit, hardly blinked when I talked up my new skills. He promptly took me out to teach me how to brake suddenly, what to do when you skid, and how to reverse like the wind out of the path of a charging animal. Even in Africa there are rules.

I will never forget the exhilaration that comes with that first taste of driving. That sense of freedom and that little touch of the devil. It is the latter that makes me most anxious when I think about teaching my girls to drive. Thankfully for me that day is still in the distant future, for you though it may have arrived before you were ready.

For many parents who have started, or are just about to start teaching their teen to drive, the challenge is one filled with mixed emotions. Not only do you have to become comfortable with the idea that your child is actually old enough to learn to drive, there is also the fear for their safety, for that of other road users and perhaps even your new car.

Here are some things to consider to help make the experience more enjoyable.

Take your positions

Just because your teen has reached the legal age to get their learner’s permit and expressed a desire to do so, it doesn’t mean they are ready. The minimum driving age in Australia ranges from 15 years and 9 months to 18 years, but two years can make a lot of difference when it comes to maturity.

Assess how your charge reacts in pressure situations, whether he or she can think quickly on their feet and whether they are emotionally ready to be in charge of a 1500kg metal box at speed. 

Do your homework

So you’ve talked to your teen about the process of learning to drive and the responsibilities involved and they are champing at the bit to get started? Before you get down to the actual learning, take a minute to refresh your knowledge on the road rules. 

Check that your car insurance is current and covers your teenager while he or she is learning.

You may have been driving for 25 years, but things can change and the last thing we need on the roads are young drivers who don’t know the rules.

It is also a good idea to check that your car insurance is current and covers your teenager while he or she is learning.

Start your engines…

Actually not so fast. It may be hard to believe, but before their first lesson many teenagers have not even sat in the driver’s seat of a car and would be hard pressed to point out the brake from the accelerator.

Before the first lesson, help your charge familiarise themselves with the car. Point out the lights, wipers and indicators, how the gear selector works even how to start the car correctly. Talk about adjusting the seat and mirrors, checking blind spots and basic car maintenance, including checking the tyres and water and filling fuel. 

Isn’t this what driving schools are for?

Driving and motoring safety experts suggest that going-to-be drivers have at least three lessons with a driving instructor before they go on the road with a supervising adult. Lessons with a professional will give them the basics and offer you some comfort when you are in the passenger seat. 

Driving is one of the best gifts you can give your child.

Of course some parents don’t have time to do the required 120 hours of supervised driving so professionals can help here too. It is also a good idea to book a few lessons, at least one, before your child has their driving test

Slow and steady

It would be crazy to guide a learner driver out onto the freeway during their first lesson. Start with an empty carpark or big open space where your student can learn how the car works. Practise turning the car around, reversing, braking and parking. If they are learning on a manual car, get them to open the window so they can easily hear the change in revs.
 
When your teen gets used to the feel of the car, progress to quiet suburban streets or perhaps an industrial estate on a Sunday before eventually venturing out to locations with more traffic. 

Four seasons in one day

As your learner driver becomes more confident be sure to expose them to a range of different driving conditions including peak hour, motorway merging and overtaking, school zones, wet weather and driving at night.

Cool calm and clear

It is hard to give up control of your car to someone who has so little knowledge of driving. Screaming at your kid, clutching the door handles like your life depends on it, or forcefully pressing an imaginary brake will not give that young person any confidence, and will probably scare them senseless.

So, offer clear instructions. Instead of saying, 'Turn, turn!' or 'You're going too fast, we are going to die!', try statements like, 'Please turn left just after the traffic lights', and 'Drop your speed by 20km/h'.

Praise good performance and judgement.

Give them plenty of time to respond and try to speak in a calm clear voice. Also try to include the 'why' so, 'Please start to slow down as we are approaching a red light'.

Remember that your teen will be so busy just concentrating on the dynamics of moving the car that they won’t be looking out for dangers. It is up to you to remain vigilant and bring them to their attention. Praise good performance and judgement.

Plan ahead

The time your teen spends with you in the car impacts on the sort of driver they will be. You want to make every lesson count. Plan the route ahead before you get in the car and discuss it with your teen. Also recap the skills they have learnt to date and talk about what you will practice in that lesson.

As they become more accomplished, mix up the routes, change it up so they have a better representation of real-life issues. It seems laborious but it will be totally worth it.

It’s not me, it’s you

Teenagers are often eager to just go ahead and live an experience rather than talking about it, which means  your safety talks may fall on deaf ears. Remind them that they are sharing the road with other drivers that may not be paying attention. Therefore it is important that they indicate or start braking ahead of time to remind these drivers that they are there.

Rules are rules

As a parent, one of the main things you want to gain from these lessons is to ensure that your child is safe on the roads and not endangering the lives of others. 

Of course it is unrealistic to think that some of your teen’s driving habits won’t change when they have friends in the back seat and you are ensconced on the couch, so it’s important to practice safe driving habits when they are learning. 

Switching mobiles phones off and keeping them out of sight, no drinking, always buckling up, keeping to the speed limit and checking blind spots is a good place to start.

Do as I do

You may think you are quite a good driver and you may very well be, but years of driving often sees us falling into bad habits. Like not keeping two hands on the wheel or being impatient or running through a traffic light when it is starting to blush. Your learner driver is taking note and you don’t want those habits to become their norm.

Learning to drive is such a liberating skill to have and that feeling when you have your licence in your hand is difficult to replicate. But driving is also a skill that needs learning and next to a good education, a kind heart and generosity of spirit, is one of the best gifts you can give your child.
 
Take a minute, too, to enjoy it. After all, how else can you get a teenager to engage with you for more than two minutes at a time?

What do you think? Tell us what you think in the comments below.