Subaru Brumby ad a viral hit

We like looking at cars and dreaming about owning them. And because every now and then you come across a cracker of an ad like the one noted below. So we tracked down the owner, Rich Wisken, to find out if this wonderful WA vehicle was for real, what inspired the ad – and how he could bear to part with such a superb Suby.

“I was casually browsing other Subaru Brumby ads when I suddenly fell asleep from sheer boredom – and dreamed of writing an ad that people might actually enjoy reading,” Wisken says.

“When I woke up, I cracked open a bottle of 2010 Cowaramup Reserve Cab Sauv and found that my creative writing skills were inversely proportional to the volume of wine in the bottle. In a nutshell, I was inspired by booze.”

Wisken says the decision to sell his beloved Brumby was a tough one – but had to be made out of kindness.

“After studying winemaking in Margaret River for three years, I decided to move back to Sydney and start a business dealing in boutique wines. It would’ve been selfish to bring a wild Brumby into the big smoke and I didn’t want PETA on my back for caging such a magnificent beast,” he says.

Wisken adds there’s been plenty of response to the ad with combined views passing 40,000, spots doing radio interviews – and several offers of copywriting gigs.

“I’ve received over 1000 emails from around the world and all but one have been positive. At least 50 of them have asked if the previous owner was Chuck Norris. Some of my favourites:

“You forgot to mention the suspension fabricated from Arnold Schwarzenegger’s stem cells.”

“If my parole officer would let me leave NSW I’d be on the next plane.”

“As I read this out to my family, I laughed so hard that I actually lost control of my bladder - no joke.”

“Will you accept blood diamonds as all my Swiss bullion has been confiscated by the Mugabe regime.”

...and my personal favourite: “You’re not funny, why don’t you kill yourself.”

He hadn’t yet found a good new home for the Brumby, so if you’re interested in a 22-year-old Subaru ute with superhero qualities, you can contact him on Twitter under the handle @RichWisken.

1991 SUBARU BRUMBY. FULL SERVICE HISTORY. 185,000km

Fabricated from rare minerals excavated from the core of Mount Olympus, artfully designed by Zeus and skillfully handcrafted in the Land of the Rising Sun by the deft hands of the infamous Seven Samurai. This Japanese rice-rocket is unquestionably the most heroic form of transport since the Apollo 11 lunar module.

Searching for a delightful automobile to ferry you to Angus and Robertson to buy 50 Shades of Grey, or perhaps cart little Timmy to clarinet lessons? Do me a favour, smash your laptop on the ground, give yourself an uppercut and take a good, long look in the mirror. Frankly, I’m offended.

If, on the other hand, you’re hunting for the most diabolical slab of precious metal to be synthesised during the Big Bang, please continue…

To date, the most monumental day of your existence was your wedding, or the birth of your children. That’s about to change! In fact, you’d trade your spouse and all of your offspring just to test-drive this barbarian.

FACTS:

In 1885, this car transported the Statue of Liberty to New York City from Paris.

Cast as KITT in 1982’s Knight Rider TV series, but eventually deemed too intelligent for the role.

Manufactured in 1991, this Brumby was responsible for the Grunge movement. If Kurt Cobain owned one, Nirvana would still be thrashing out tunes.

I drove it to my last job interview and my employer handed me his résumé.

If you were to be run over by this beast, you’d have to fight off the strong urge to thank the driver.

When the cops pulled me over a few weeks ago, they were lucky to leave with a warning.

SPECIFICATIONS:

Bullbar forged from unicorn horns.

Two seats (thrones) upholstered with Albino Panda fur.

Stereo system used for sound engineering the U2 360 tour.

Built-in chick/dude magnet (it knows your preference).

Integrated time machine (takes you back to 1991 when you step inside)

Powered by nuclear fusion (makes Coles/Woolies fuel vouchers redundant)

Windscreen wiper jets filled with the tears of Jesus (washes away the most sinful grime)

No power steering (so you better start pumping iron to shred your biceps)

Analog clock (ask your Grandfather how to read it).

PRICE:

$5,000 or 6.5kg of freshly minted Swiss gold bullion. Reasonable offers accepted. (Example of a reasonable offer: $10,000 +)